


Premonition

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Angst, M/M, Mystery, Race Against Time, Time Travel, scrambled timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2018-11-06 16:45:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11040198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It starts with a strange message from Lance, then goes downhill from there.Keith finds himself trapped between two realities: one where Lance is alive, and one where he is not.





	1. | | ・ |

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea I've had in my mind for years and finally decided to do something with it. Buckle in and enjoy the ride, this will be very angsty.

“You're going to be okay now, we're taking you somewhere safe.”

Shiro put his hand on the shoulder of a small alien who looked up at him with big, glassy eyes.  

“Oh thank you, thank you. We are truly blessed to be rescued by the Paladins of Voltron.”

“It's nothing,” Shiro flashed his signature hero smile. “We’re happy to help.”

Keith watched the exchange as he herded his own group into an escape pod. In the distance, Pidge was doing the same. They had been doing this all day; they left in the morning in response to a distress signal they received from a planet that had been utterly destroyed by the Galra. All their resources had been drained and they had nothing left. They were left abandoned on a planet with nothing left for them and no means of escape. The paladins were escorting them to the safety of their sister planet.

At least, the remaining paladins were. Hunk and Lance had left the day before on a recon mission for the Blade of Marmora. Now that they were working in tandem with the group, they had access to all of their leads, and there was one in particular that they had to investigate further. Lance and Hunk were assigned to the task. They were scheduled to be back tomorrow with more info.  

And so Shiro, Pidge, and Keith were left with hero duty. Keith didn't mind, he knew they were doing a good thing, but he much preferred combat over ushering people into pods. It was hard for him to be friendly and reassuring–he was told he has an intimidating demeanor. The other two were doing a much better job at easing people’s minds.

“How’s it going over there, Keith?” he heard Shiro ask from behind him.

“Good. Almost done, I think.”

“Great, this is the last hemisphere. Good work, you guys. I know this was a lot of hard work, especially down two Paladins, but you both did great.”

“Thanks, Shiro,” he heard Pidge respond over the communication link.

“Keith, if you're all set, can you go back to your lion and tell Allura we’re heading back to the castle?”

“Sure thing, Shiro,” Keith secured the hatch on the last escape pod and made his way over to Red, who was sitting a bit of a distance away. The castle was still orbiting the planet–it was a really small planet, much smaller than Earth, and with its quintessence extracted, it was very unstable. Allura decided it was best to keep the castle in orbit above so as not to risk an earthquake or sinkhole. The paladins took Red down instead.

When he walked into the cockpit, he found a message waiting for him on the dashboard. He was surprised to find it wasn't from Allura, but Lance. He must have missed his call while he was helping the refugees, but why did he call him? He should be just about reaching the base by now, but there was no reason to call Keith.

Curiously, Keith pressed the button to play the feedback. A holographic image of Lance appeared on his dash.

“Hey Keith,” he greeted, tilting his head and briefly flicking his eyes towards the camera before focusing back on piloting his lion. “We’re almost at the base now and I figured this was a good a time as any to give you a call. I know you're probably busy right now, but I just wanted to apologize for leaving without waking you up yesterday morning. I know you wanted me to and I’m sorry I didn’t, but I didn’t want you to try and stop me. Please don’t be mad at me. I know you’ve been really worried lately so I wanted to let you know… I meant what I said the other night. Really. And… I think we should talk when I get back. I have something important to say and… yeah. Anyways…”

Lance trailed off, looking bashful, and Keith stared at the video in confusion. None of this was making sense. Why would he wake him up before he left? And what did he say the other night? He didn’t remember any of this.

Something dinged and the Lance in the video looked at his dashboard in confusion. “Wait, I'm getting another call…” his eyebrows furrowed and he muttered, “from you?” And he moved his arm to answer before the video cut out.  

The cockpit was filled with silence as Keith contemplated the message. He wracked his brain, but it didn’t make any sense to him. Maybe Lance meant the call to be for someone else? But no, he said Keith’s name. None of it made sense. He was standing there trying to figure out what it meant for a few minutes before another call popped up on his screen, but this time from Allura.

“Allura, what is it?” he asked as soon as her image appeared.

“We have just received a distress signal from the Blue Lion!” Allura shouted. “The recon mission has been compromised! We need you three back at the castle at once so we can wormhole to their location and form Voltron!”

Keith startled. Lance and Hunk were in trouble? He pushed the confusing message from Lance out of his mind and went into soldier mode.

“You got it, Allura. We just finished loading up all the pods and we’re ready to go.”

“Excellent, Keith. Please hurry!”

With that, the connection was broken. Keith ran out of his lion, pressing his fingers to the side of his helmet to activate his short range comms. He felt a hint of anxiety in his chest, but the overwhelming feeling was that of adrenaline. He was ready for a fight.

“Shiro, Pidge!” he called over the comms as he ran over to them. “Lance and Hunk are in trouble, we need to get to them now!”

“What?” Pidge asked. “Wasn’t it supposed to be a recon mission?”

“They were compromised,” Keith explained. “Come on, no time for questions. Let’s load these pods onto the castle and wormhole out of here!”

The job to get the pods to the sister planet slowed them down. The paladins messily escorted the aliens out of the castle as fast as they could and apologized for their hurry, explaining that their companions were in trouble. They already wasted more time than they could spare–relocating an entire species to a new planet was not quick work. The aliens understood though, and they rushed off after a quick goodbye.

“I’m opening a wormhole now! Is everyone in their lions?” Allura asked from the control room.

“Yes, princess!” they all responded.

A wormhole appeared in front of them and they all braced for battle as they cruised toward it. On the other side, they found themselves face to face with a huge ship, much larger than the castle, with alarms blaring and red lights flashing. The battle was happening within, as Hunk and Lance had already made it inside, but Blue was nowhere to be seen. They had hidden her somewhere that would not be easily located.

“Lance, Hunk, are you with me?” Allura called out through the comms, now that they were a close enough range for the signal to pick up. “We are here now, are you in your lion?”

On the other end, the sounds of a scuffle were the only thing they could hear for a few minutes.

“Negative, Allura!” Hunk finally responded, sounding distressed. “We’re almost at Blue, but… Lance is hurt really badly. I’m on my own here!”

“We’re sending backup!” Allura responded. “Pidge, Shiro, Keith, can you three get inside and assist Lance and Hunk?”  

“On it!” Keith shouted and immediately pulled his lion out of the hangar. He heard Shiro and Pidge shout similar affirmations and then he saw Green and Black out of the corner of his eye. As soon as they were out, they were held back by fleets of fighter pilots swarming out of the ship. Keith felt a fresh wave of adrenaline as he started taking them down. He dove and evaded their attacks. It felt good to be expending some of the restless energy he’d been holding in all day, but he didn’t want to get caught up in the fight this time. He had to focus on getting to Lance and Hunk.

“Oh my god,” he could hear Hunk gasp through the comm as soon as the signs of the scuffle were over. “Lance is really bad. We’re going to need a healing pod stat.”

More shuffling was heard, and Hunk whispered, “Stay with me, man. Can you hear me?”

“What happened?” Pidge shouted over her comm.

“We were spotted!” Hunk replied, and Keith could tell he was trying to hold back tears. “Droids started attacking us, but we were outnumbered and one snuck up behind us and shot Lance! He kept fighting for a while, but he’s lost too much blood and he just collapsed! There’s no more soldiers now… I think they might have been redirected to you guys, but I’m scared more are going to come. I can’t keep fighting on my own and protecting Lance.”

Keith could hear Hunk grunt and more shuffling was heard. “I’m going to bring him to his lion now. We’re going to try to get out of here ASAP so I can get Lance to a healing pod.”

“Where was he hit?” Shiro asked.  

“Back of the shoulder, the right one. I think it might have hit a major blood vessel… he’s bleeding _a lot._ ”

“Alright, just hang in there Hunk, we’re coming!”

“I’m almost at Blue!” Hunk responded. 

“Then we’ll keep these fleets distracted while you get Lance back to the castle!”

“Alright, sounds–oh god!” Hunk was cut off and sounds of guns were heard on his end.

“Just kidding, they came back!” Hunk cried over the comms.

“Keith!” Shiro shouted. “See if you can get inside and help Hunk!”

“Roger!” Keith barely needed to be told. He shot at the fighter jets in his way and flipped his lion over and around the incoming ones to evade and get around them. He pushed his lion to go faster and sped towards the first opening he saw without even checking his six. He knew Shiro and Pidge had him covered. Once he was close enough, he ejected himself through the mouth of his lion and jetpacked into the ship, tucking and rolling to a stop right as the hangar door closed. Once steady, he activated his bayard and ran full speed, slicing into two droids without stopping as they rushed him.

“Hunk, I’m inside, what’s your position?”

“Keith! I’m–ugh–by the west exit! We… hid Blue in a blind spot underneath the hangar doors!” Hunk explained through his battle.

“On my way!” Keith sped up. Luckily, he didn’t land too far from the west exit. He should be there within minutes. He just hoped they had that kind of time to spare.

“You better hurry,” Allura suddenly interjected. “Haggar just showed up!”

Keith cursed. He heard the unmistakable sound of corrupted quintessence crackle in the air through his comms. She was attacking the castle. The shield should be able to hold up against her attack for a few minutes… but they needed to get out of there. They couldn’t afford to fight against her right now.

He willed his legs to move faster, and at the next turn he ran into Hunk’s battle. He spared a glance at Lance before joining the fray. He did not look good. He was sprawled on the ground where Hunk had to settle him for the battle, and there was already a large puddle of blood underneath him. Hunk himself was covered in blood, and looking very nauseous, but he was fighting desperately to protect his friend. He was outnumbered, but Keith evened the odds a little bit. Hunk had already taken some droids down on his own, but as a team they took the rest down faster.

Once the last one fell, Hunk turned to him appreciatively. Then he looked at Lance and blanched. “Oh no, oh god… he’s lost consciousness completely.”

“Come on,” Keith moved immediately to crouch next to Lance. “We need to get him out of here stat.”

Hunk nodded frantically and crouched on his other side. Gently, he took Lance’s good arm and wrapped it around his own shoulders, picking him up. Keith reactivated his bayard and held it defensively, covering Hunk’s back. They continued the journey back to Blue.  

“It’s not far from here,” Hunk explained quietly over his shoulder. Just down this hallway.”

Sure enough, they reached the hangar doors in no time. They secured their helmets and Keith pressed the keypad to unlock them. It responded to his Galra genes immediately. He still wasn’t comfortable with the knowledge, but he had to admit it came in handy. The airlock opened and they were sucked into space. Keith silently hoped that Lance wasn’t jostled too much, and then suddenly Blue and Red were in front of them. Keith wasn’t as bonded to Blue as Lance was, but he still felt a dull sense of pain from her before she opened her jaw and swallowed Hunk and Lance. The next thing he knew, Keith was surrounded by metal in the familiar cockpit of Red.

Keith stood up quickly and looked out the window in a panic. Haggar was attacking the castle with all she had and Shiro and Pidge were doing their best to keep the fighter pilots at bay. The shields were not going to stay up forever, and back in a lion Keith could hear the panicked shouts of the rest of his team.

“Hunk and Lance! Oh thank goodness, is Keith with you?” he heard Allura over the comms.

“I’m back in my lion, princess,” he responded.

“Oh good… how’s Lance?”

Before either of them could answer, a particularly large blast from Haggar hit the castle and he could hear Allura and Coran shout in fear as the shields fizzled out. They were completely vulnerable.

“We need to get out of here now!” Shiro shouted from the Black Lion.  

“Paladins, back to the castle!” Allura demanded, and they didn’t even need to be told. They were all already rushing back, the remaining fighter pilots on their tails.

Keith’s heart was beating fast. He looked to his side and saw Blue rushing back next to him. Was Hunk piloting Blue, or was she on autopilot? He was suddenly rocked by a hit from a fighter pilot behind him. He braced himself in his chair as he was hit again. He wanted to turn and fight back, but there was no time. He swerved around another shot.

They finally made it back to the castle and landed in the docking bay. Once all of them touched down, the hangar doors closed.

“Wormhole!” Pidge shouted, and Keith felt the tug of the castle being pulled through two points in space.

He rushed out of his lion and saw Pidge and Shiro do the same. He ran to the nearest window overlooking the scene behind them as they escaped the battle. They were almost all the way through the wormhole when he heard the angry scream from Haggar and before any of them could react, she released one last blast of pure black quintessence.  

“Allura, watch out!” Shiro managed to shout before the castle was rocked by the blast.

Keith felt Shiro and Pidge latch onto him and they fell to the floor as the ground quaked. He felt Shiro twist his way above them and brace himself, ready to take the brunt of the damage if the walls started collapsing. The structure shook violently, but it stayed stable. Altean architecture seemed to be made of tougher stuff than anything on Earth.  

“Not again!” he heard Allura cry over the castle loudspeakers. “The wormhole is breaking down!”

Keith clung to Shiro’s arm tighter as the castle groaned with one long lasting shudder and then suddenly it was hurtling forward. The back end of the castle tilted up and the three of them were thrown across the room, screaming and crashing into the wall. They could hear Allura’s and Coran’s screams over the loudspeakers as they no doubt struggled to turn the castle back into an upright position from the control room. When it straightened out, Keith, Shiro, and Pidge tumbled on top of each other on the ground, sore and groaning.

Then suddenly, they came out the other end of the wormhole and the castle ship slowed almost to a stop. The three paladins sat up and blinked, looking around in confusion.  

“Allura?” Shiro called. “What’s going on?”

“That’s so odd,” Allura’s voice echoed through the castle. “The last time that happened, we got stuck in a time loop. Coran kept getting younger and younger… we were only able to get out when we locked in on Pidge’s coordinates.”

“Well, it seems we got lucky this time,” Coran’s voice followed. “I don’t know how we did it, but we escaped the wormhole. Good job everybody! That was a close one!”

“What about Lance?” Pidge interjected quietly.

They all looked toward the Blue Lion, who sat silently on the far corner of the room, staring at them neutrally. It caused a shudder to go up Keith’s spine. Hunk and Lance hadn’t come out.

“Hunk,” Shiro called uncertainly, and Keith could hear it echo through the comms on his helmet. “Are you still in there with Lance? Is he okay?”

Silence.  

Keith was about to panic and start running towards Blue when suddenly she moved, bending down until her head was near the ground and opening up her giant maw. Keith froze and stared as Hunk’s figure emerged out of it, carrying Lance’s limp body with him. Keith was running before he knew it, sprinting towards the pair. 

He came to an abrupt halt feet away. Hunk stepped out of Blue and her jaw snapped shut, returning to her sitting position. He could hear Shiro and Pidge slow to a stop behind him as they caught up to him but he didn’t look back. He had his eyes glued on Lance’s still body and Hunk’s crying face, his frame shaking with violent sobs. Lance hung limply, his head fallen back and his arm dangling loosely. Blood covered both of them, and Keith knew he had blood on himself as well. Lance’s blood.  

“Is he-” Pidge started.

“Dead,” Hunk finished with a sob, falling to his knees and placing Lance slowly, gently, reverently on the floor.

He grabbed Lance’s hand and gripped it close to his heart, bent over so that his forehead rested upon Lance’s chest, crying over his best friend’s dead body. Pidge started crying too, and kneeled down to place a comforting hand on Hunk’s shoulder. Shiro covered his eyes and hung his head. Keith just continued staring at the scene, staring at the peaceful, blank expression on Lance’s face, the pallor of his skin, the unnatural lack of movement, not absorbing it, not accepting it, and then–

“Are you sure he’s dead?” he asked hastily. He grabbed for Lance’s free hand and tried to feel for a pulse. “Did you check? How are you sure?”

“Keith–” he heard Shiro’s dejected sigh, and he noticed Allura and Coran enter the room.

“We should get him to a healing pod! Do some diagnostics! He might not be dead, we might still have a chance!”

“Keith, please,” Shiro repeated. Hunk looked up at him miserably and Pidge shot him a dirty look.  

“What? Are you guys not even going to try? We have alien technology here! Allura and Coran might have something that can bring him back, right? We have to try, we have to–”

He looked over to Allura and Coran, who both looked shocked. Allura met his gaze and he stared at her pleadingly, silently asking her to back him up. She closed her eyes and shook her head sadly.

“I’m sorry, Keith,” she whispered. “Altean medicine is very advanced, but nothing can reverse death.”

Keith felt like his heart was beating in his ears. He breathed heavily, processing what Allura said.

“No,” he whispered. And then louder, “No! There has to be _something_ we can do. This can’t be it!”

“Keith, stop it!” Pidge snapped. “There’s nothing we can do! He’s _gone!”_

Keith flinched back like he was burned, not expecting such a scathing tone. He stared at her in disbelief, the reality of the situation sinking in.

“No…” he looked down at studied Lance’s face, his body, for any indication of life. He found none. He wasn’t alive. He wasn’t breathing. He was _dead._

“No,” his voice cracked and he felt tears slip down his cheeks.

He rubbed his eyes furiously, not wanting anyone to see. He turned on his heel and ran into the hallway. No one called after him, no one stopped him. He raced down the dark, empty corridors, stumbling to his room until he collapsed in his bed. He punched the pillow once, twice, before he reached over the side and grabbed his blade. He slashed at the wall, shouting angrily until there were four deep gashes in the metal. He threw the blade back on the floor and slumped over, feeling empty.

He felt like fighting someone. He felt like charging to Zarkon right now by himself and challenging him to a fist fight. He felt like screaming, like breaking something… but he also felt like he lost all his energy, like he wanted to sleep forever, like he never wanted to move again.

More tears streaked down his face, and he curled in on himself, finally allowing himself to cry in solitude, angrily punching his mattress. _Lance can’t be dead, he can’t be, he can’t be…_

 

* * *

 

He was still in the same position hours later, or what felt like hours, when Shiro’s voice echoed over the castle’s loudspeakers.

“If everyone could please meet in the lounge right away, we have important information to discuss,” he called politely and professionally, but Keith could hear the weariness in his voice.

He didn’t want to get up, but he knew if he didn’t Shiro would come find him and he didn’t want anyone seeing him like this, so with a groan he rolled himself off the bed and into a standing position. He shuffled toward the adjoining bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. He looked awful. Red rimmed eyes, tear tracks making his cheeks sticky, hair in disarray… Lance would have a field day making fun of– _no_. He couldn’t afford to think about that. Wearily, he twisted the faucet and splashed water on his face, scrubbing his eyes and running his fingers through his hair. It would have to do.  

He made his way to the lounge and found that he was the last person to arrive. Usually he and Shiro were the first, and Lance was always last… Keith once again cut off that train of thought.  

“You’re all here now, excellent,” Allura said cheerfully from the head of the room, but she did not look cheerful. She looked just as exhausted as Keith felt. Everyone did. Hunk was still crying, soft sniffles now as Pidge rubbed his arm soothingly. Keith took a seat next to them and stared up at Allura, Coran, and Shiro with concern.

“As you all already know, we lost a fellow paladin and comrade today…” Allura paused and placed her hand on her chest, bowing her head as her lip quivered. Shiro placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “And… and as much as it obviously pains us all, we still have a duty. We all knew the risks when we signed up, and Lance died a hero defending the universe with honor. We will prepare a funeral for him, but Zarkon will not pause to give us time to mourn. We need to be ready for future attacks. Right now, we are a paladin short and we cannot form Voltron. Our next priority is to find someone to pilot B–”

“No.”

Keith’s voice cut through the room with more venom than he realized he possessed. It caused Allura to stop abruptly and stare at him with wide eyes, as well as everyone else.

“...Pardon me?” she asked.

“Lance just died today, and you’re already looking for his replacement? No, you can’t do that!”

“Keith, you’re being unreasonable,” Allura responded sternly. “We can’t leave ourselves defenseless, someone _has_ to pilot the Blue Lion. As much as I would love for that to continue being Lance, that’s no longer an option.”

“So we’re just going to forget about him and move on?”

“We’re not forgetting about him, Keith. We will never forget him, but–”  

“But you couldn’t even wait until _after_ we’ve properly said goodbye to him before bringing up his replacement?”

Allura sputtered. “I mean no disrespect.”

“Then maybe you should _at least_ wait to have this conversation until after the funeral,” Keith spat. “If you want to replace him so quickly, then go ahead. But I don’t want to be part of this conversation.”  

“Keith–”

For the second time that day, Keith found himself storming out of the room as he felt his eyes water. He couldn’t let them see him cry, he couldn’t let them know how much he _cared_.

That had already blown up in his face, though. He always tried to think like a soldier. He expected that of everyone else as well. But he already lost so much. He lost his parents, he lost Shiro, he got him back, but now he lost Lance. He kept losing the things he loved.

 _Why couldn’t anyone ever stay?_ He only just started to sort through his feelings for Lance, started to think maybe Lance felt the same way. Now he’d never know. And the message Lance left for him this morning… that felt like an eternity ago. Lance had something he wanted to tell him. It was so cryptic and he didn’t understand it, and now he never would.

He sat back down in his bed and ran his hands through his hair, shaking. Everything was messed up now. He would have to apologize to Allura for blowing up back there, but he couldn’t help it… he didn’t want to think about replacing Lance. He didn’t want to think about fighting in this damn war that none of them signed up for, thinking that any of them could be next. Lance certainly didn’t sign up for this. He wanted to go home probably more than any of them. He had family there that loved him, family that probably missed him. Keith didn’t know what that was like, but his heart ached. Lance would never get to go back home to his family now…

Keith always thought that if any of them was going to die, it would be him. He was reckless in battle, he had less holding him here. He didn’t have a family waiting for him at home, he didn’t even have a proper _home_. The shack out in the desert meant nothing to him. He had no attachments. He always expected himself to be the first to go, didn’t think he would have someone he would have to live through missing.

A quiet knock on his door woke him from his reverie. He startled back and stared at the door until he heard a muffled, “Keith? It’s me, Shiro. Can I come in?”

“Um, yeah, hold on…” Keith wiped his eyes rapidly and approached the door, opening it when he felt like he looked collected.

Shiro stared at him in concern from the other side. Keith stepped aside and Shiro walked back towards his bed and sitting down, patting the spot next to him as an invitation. Keith accepted and sat down, shoulders tense and back stiff as he avoided eye contact.

“Keith, are you alright?”

Keith deflated.

“I mean, obviously none of us are alright right now, but you kind of exploded back there. It’s not like you.”

“I’m sorry,” Keith croaked and closed his eyes. “I don’t know what came over me. I just…”

“You cared about Lance a lot, didn’t you?”

It wasn’t an accusation or an insult, just a quiet observation. And Keith felt his walls crumbling.

“Yes,” he whispered, and fresh tears streamed down his face. “I… I wanted to be with him. I thought maybe he wanted to be with me too. But I was afraid to tell him. We had _just_ dropped the whole dumb rivalry thing and we were just starting to get along. I was afraid to ruin it… I didn’t tell him… now I’ll… now I’ll never get to tell him how I feel.”

Shiro pulled him into his shoulder and his resolve broke. Sobs wracked his body and he clutched the fabric of Shiro’s shirt as he wrapped his arms tightly around Keith’s frame.

“I feel so guilty…” Keith sobbed. “I should have told him, I should have told him…” 

Shiro rubbed Keith’s back soothingly. “It’s okay, you didn’t know this would happen.”  

“I thought we had more time…”

Keith cried on Shiro’s shoulder for a while before Shiro pulled away. Keith protested, not wanting him to leave, but all he did was start to help Keith take off his armor. He hadn’t taken it off all day, and there was still some of Lance’s blood smeared across the chestplate. He would have to scrub that off.  

When he was left just in his black undersuit, Shiro pulled the covers down and gently pushed Keith’s shoulder so that he was laying down. He pulled the covers back over Keith, and sat down on the edge of his bed, rubbing his shoulder as he continued crying.

“It’ll be okay, Keith,” Shiro comforted. “It won’t be okay at first, but we’ll get there. We’ll never forget Lance, but I think he’d want you to keep living and fighting for him.”

Keith didn’t respond, but his cries lessened until he was exhausted, staring at the wall and focusing on Shiro’s hand rubbing circles over his shoulder. His face felt numb, his throat felt dry, and his eyes burned, but he forced himself to breath deeply.

He felt empty. He felt like the Galra had carved a messy hole into his heart after they killed Lance. He felt overwhelming guilt, and confusion, and loss. He thought back to the message he got in the morning and wondered what it meant again.

His eyes felt heavy. He blinked a few times, but the exhaustion had set in after a long draining day, and Shiro’s comforting hand lulled him into a deep, restless sleep.

 

* * *

  

Keith woke up slowly, blinking away sleep from his eyes. He was contemplating rolling over and going back to sleep when memories of last night flooded his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut and sat up. His chest felt hollow again and he stared down at himself.

He realized with a start that he wasn’t wearing his black flightsuit anymore. Instead, he was in the pyjamas that were handed out to them by Allura and Coran their first night in the castle. He looked on the floor and saw that his armor had been cleaned up as well. Did Shiro do all of that? He really didn’t need to. Keith felt selfish, Shiro was taking care of him when they were both mourning.

Then he looked at the wall on the other side of his bed and realized the gashes he made yesterday were gone. How did _those_ disappear overnight? Shiro wouldn’t be able to fix that. Keith stared at the space with his eyes furrowed, but shook his head. He wouldn’t question it, it was one less problem for him to worry about.

He tiredly changed into his day clothes, slipping on his boots and heading out the door. He felt a deep ache in his bones that he needed to expel. A good training session would hopefully help him ignore the grief. They would be figuring out funeral arrangements later today, but for now he needed time to himself.

He was passing by the kitchen area when he heard laughter. He stopped to stare at the door. How could they be laughing? Just yesterday, Hunk was just as much of a wreck as him and Pidge was solemn as ever, but he heard their laughs echo through the hallway. He was about to angrily storm away at their ability to move on so easily when he heard a third laugh. It was so familiar, so distinct, so _impossible._

He redirected his course straight to the kitchen and burst through the door, staring wide eyed at the occupants of the room. Sitting at the dining table, alive and well, was _Lance._


	2. |

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s wrong, Keith?” Shiro asked amiably. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 
> 
> I think I have, Keith thought to himself.

“Uh, Keith? Are you okay?”

Pidge’s concerned voice broke through Keith’s shock, and he closed his mouth. He blinked rapidly, trying to check if Lance was really there, was really _alive_ and staring at him like he’d grown an extra head.

“I… I…” Keith struggled to form a sentence when Shiro walked in behind him, clapping him on the back as he passed.

“What’s wrong, Keith?” he asked amiably. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

 _I think I have,_ Keith thought to himself.

“He probably did,” Lance added as if he could read Keith’s thoughts. “This castle is totally haunted, I keep telling you guys.”

“Lance,” Keith finally uttered. “You’re…”

“Handsome? Talented? The best sharpshooter you’ve ever seen?” Lance struck several poses.

 _Just as much of a smartass as I remembered._ Keith rolled his eyes.

“Yesterday…” he tried to articulate, attempting to wrap his head around the sudden shift in his reality. “I thought you…”

The image of Lance’s dead body was still too vivid in Keith’s mind. He had seen it with his own eyes. Everyone else had seen it as well. And now, it was just like a normal day. And Lance was _right there_. There was no way…

“Keith, are you okay?” Shiro gripped his shoulder to steady him, and he realized he had been wobbling. “You don’t look too good, maybe you should skip training today.”

“I’m fine,” Keith insisted irritably, “I’m just… none of you remember?”

“Remember what?” Hunk asked.  

Keith stared at them for a moment, trying to interpret anything in their blank eyes. When he found nothing, he shook his head.

“Nothing. Nevermind.”

If this was some sort of elaborate prank, it wasn’t funny. But it seemed like everyone else genuinely didn’t remember what happened. They all looked at each other in concern. They were probably confused by how he was acting, but he would sound like he lost his mind if he tried to explain. He didn’t want to say anything, not yet. Not until he figured this out.

He turned to Shiro. “I’m going to head to the training room to get in some early warm ups. I’ll see you guys later.”

And with that, he turned on his heel and walked out, the curious gazes of his teammates following his retreating figure. Once he was down the hall, Keith broke into a jog. His mind was spinning, trying to come up with answers. He _didn’t_ just make that up. He knew what he saw.

He slowed down as he approached the training room, stumbling inside and putting on his armor in a daze as he attempted to make sense of his situation. Was it a dream? It felt too real to be one. He remembered every detail about it; he remembered the whole day. His dreams were never like that, if he had them at all.

He began sparring with the training droid, trying to expel his jittery energy. He attempted to focus on the fight rather than his situation. It usually worked. Combat was the perfect way to clear his head and focus directly on the task at hand. But today, it wasn’t effective. He stumbled and paused, unsure of himself and unable to completely focus on what he was doing. After getting his ass handed to him a couple of times, he decided to forgo the droid for now and do some solo practice.

As he practiced, he thought more about his situation. He believed that the rest of the team really didn’t remember. They wouldn’t lie to him like that. But then, what did he remember? Was it not real? Lance… his dead body kept flashing through his mind. Keith shook his head to rid himself of the visual. But he was in the dining hall this morning with the rest of the team… alive, laughing, joking around. Keith either imagined his death or imagined him this morning. It was impossible any other way.

He was still cycling through some basic maneuvers when the rest of the team ambled in. He stopped what he was doing and turned to them, still surprised to see Lance. He nodded to them, and they walked up to join him in the middle of the training floor.

“We’re doing one on one combat today,” Shiro explained. “We’ve been working well as a team, but we need to be ready for a situation where we’re own our own.”  

Keith crossed his arms and nodded. When Hunk and Lance were compromised, they could have used more hand-to-hand combat skills to fend off the droids.

 _But, no._ Keith shook his head. _That didn’t really happen._

Lance raised his hand. “I call facing Keith!”

Keith raised his eyebrow. “Why me?”

“Because, you know, Lance and Keith, neck and neck?”

Keith deadpanned. “I thought you said we weren’t rivals anymore.”

“We’re not! But that doesn’t mean there still can’t be some friendly competition.”

Keith shrugged, but he allowed himself a small smile. Lance smiled broadly back.

They all broke off into teams of two. Hunk and Pidge paired with each other and Shiro paired up with Allura. Coran acted as referee as they all took turns on the floor. Lance and Keith were last, so they sat on the sidelines and watched their teammates spar.

As they watched, Keith felt himself unwind more and more. He slowly reacclimated to the presence of Lance, especially since he was sitting right next to him offering commentary. Keith snorted at something funny Lance said, and the normality of routine almost made him forget about what had happened the day prior. It felt more and more like a distant memory, and Keith felt more and more convinced that it must have been nothing more than an elaborate dream.

“Lance and Keith, you’re up!” Coran announced with full theatrics. He had been narrating the battles like a sports broadcaster the entire time and he did not shy away from putting his full body into it.

“Ready to be defeated, Mullet?” Lance smirked.

Keith felt his face heat up a bit, but he composed himself quickly.

“I think you should be asking yourself that.” 

They faced each other on the floor and Coran stood in between them.  

“Alright, paladins, you know the rules. Whoever can pin the other on the ground for three ticks is the winner! Now… on the count of three… one… two… three!”

Coran swooped off to the sidelines, but Lance and Keith stayed on their respective sides. Keith gripped his sword tightly in his hand, while Lance trained his gun on him. He narrowed his eyes and Keith twitched, waiting for his first move. Lance had the benefit of a long range weapon, so Keith would have to wait for an opening before he got too close.

Finally, Lance got impatient and took the first shot. Keith dodged it easily and dove forward. Lance took another shot. This time, Keith blocked it with his shield. The force of the blast at such a close range caused him to falter back, and in that time Lance closed the distance between them. He made to shoot at Keith again, aiming for his shield to knock him back, but Keith caught himself in time and sidestepped, spinning around on his heels and using his momentum to drive his sword forward. He hit the back of Lance’s armor with the blunt handle, causing him to fall forward. One more blow, and Lance would be on the floor. Keith made to strike, but froze right before he connected to Lance’s shoulder. His right shoulder.

_Lance died from a wound to his right shoulder._

He didn’t realize he was staring at it until it disappeared from his view and suddenly he was on the ground with Lance above him, sitting on top of him.

“One, two, three!” Coran slammed his palm on the ground dramatically with each word. “That’s it! Lance is the winner!”

Keith stared up at Lance in surprise, and Lance had a similar expression. He didn’t move from his spot on top of Keith’s stomach. After a moment he realized this, apologized, and quickly got off. Keith sat up and watched as Lance scurried over to where Hunk was. He stared at him for a moment before Shiro spoke up and gave them feedback and criticisms before moving on to round two.

 

* * *

 

After training ended, Keith watched from across the room as Lance, Hunk, and Pidge joked around with each other. Shiro started talking to Allura, so Keith was left by himself to take off his armor. He wanted to talk to Lance, but he wasn’t sure how to lead into a conversation, and he didn’t want to interrupt his chat with Hunk and Pidge, so he left him alone. That’s how it went most of the time. Keith appreciated his relationship with everyone on the team, but it was still so hard for him to initiate conversations. People needed to come to him first, or else he felt unwanted.

With a sigh, he stored away his armor in it’s compartment and sat up, making his way out of the training deck. He was going to take a shower, maybe do some light reading, and otherwise he had no plans for the day. There wasn’t a whole lot to do in the castle when they weren’t in imminent danger. 

“Keith, wait up!” Lance’s familiar voice echoed down the hall, and Keith turned around to see the blue paladin jogging to catch up with him, a frantic look on his face.

“Lance?”

Lance leaned against his knees to catch his breath. “You left before I got a chance to speak to you.”

“You wanted to speak to me?” Keith asked.

“Yeah, about this morning,” he explained, and Keith tensed up. He didn’t want to talk about it. “You seemed pretty shocked to see me, and I just wanted to make sure everything was alright.”

Keith stared at Lance.

“I…” he stuttered. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? What happened?”

“It was nothing,” Keith felt his face heat up. “I was just disoriented. I had just woken up.”

Lance scrutinized him. He definitely didn’t believe him, but Keith couldn’t tell him the truth. He wouldn’t believe that either.

“And then what about during training today?” he asked.

“What about it?” Keith replied.

“You were totally out of it! One second, we were sparring, the next second, you froze up. You could’ve beaten me if you landed that blow, but you stopped. That was a total Shiro moment there. Were you having a flashback or something?”

Keith tensed. He had hoped it hadn’t been noticeable.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Better to just play oblivious for now.

Lance gave him a hard look. “Keith, if there’s something wrong you can tell me. _Us_ , you can tell any of us. You just seem really out of it today and I’m worried about you.”

Keith stared back at Lance. _He’s worried about me._ Keith felt selfish for making someone worried about him, but he was a little bit pleased that it was Lance. Worry meant that someone cared about you, and even if Lance didn’t care about him in the same way that he did, it was still a good feeling.

Then he realized that in his dream, he had felt incredibly guilty over the fact that he never told Lance how he felt. He regretted not letting him know so that a potential relationship could have formed, but even if he didn’t feel the same way... at least he would have known how much he mattered to Keith.

But Lance wasn’t really dead. It didn’t really happen and now he was standing in front of Keith. He could tell him now. He had a chance to do it now, knowing what it felt like to miss the opportunity forever. He could admit to him how he felt right now and then at least he would _know._

“Lance, I…” Keith started. “Nothing, it’s not a big deal. I’m okay.”  

He couldn’t tell Lance. It seemed ridiculous now. Lance was fine, they were all fine, he had no need to tell him. He probably didn’t even like him back anyways, so there was no point in embarrassing himself. He didn’t want to be on a team with someone who knew he liked him but didn’t reciprocate the feelings.

“Oh… okay, then. If you’re sure. But if you ever need to talk...”

Lance looked almost disappointed.

“I know. Thanks, Lance,” Keith paused awkwardly. “Anyways, I’m heading back to my room for a shower. I’ll see you at dinner?”

“Yeah,” Lance responded distantly. “See you then, I guess.”

Keith departed with a final wave. Maybe he should have kept the conversation going on for longer, but Lance probably only wanted to quickly check up on him for the sake of team bonding. He could go back to hanging out with Hunk and Pidge now, who were probably much more entertaining conversation partners.

Besides, Lance seemed upset by the end of the conversation. Keith did something to upset him, but he didn’t know what. He had a knack for making people sad or angry by accident. He’d been told that he lacked tact.

Lance probably wanted Keith to explain what was going on, but he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t even figure it out himself. He decided to just assume what had happened was a really weird, strangely vivid dream and leave it behind him. He let it get the best of him today, but after a good night’s sleep he would move on from it and get back into a normal routine. Then Lance would see that he was okay and not worry about him anymore.

After he took a shower, Keith collapsed on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He felt worn out by the events of the day. The memory of Lance’s dead body was still branded in his mind. He shuddered. He knew now that it didn’t really happen, but he felt haunted by even the concept of Lance dying. He held the team together. He was the heart. Without him, the war would become too real, the weight of their destiny would become unbearable.

The rest of the day passed by idly, with Keith mostly trying to keep the thoughts of his dream at bay. They kept nagging at the back of his mind, keeping him aware of Lance’s presence near him at all times. Something in him screamed, _this isn’t right, he’s not supposed to be here_ , but he silenced it.

When it was finally time for bed, he was almost relieved. The day had felt too long, the stress too much. Lance had prodded him a few more times, but he kept insisting he was fine. It didn’t really look like Lance bought it, but at least he wasn’t being obnoxious. Just genuinely curious, making Keith feel bad for worrying him.

When his head finally hit the pillow, it was lights out almost instantaneously.

 

* * *

 

 

“Keith... Keith are you ready?”

He woke up to the sound of Shiro calling him and knocking softly at his door. He shifted in his bed and groaned. Had he slept through training? He sat up groggily and rubbed at his eyes. They were crusted over and he had to scrub at them to get them to open. They felt dry and irritated. It felt like he had been crying.

Slowly, he sat up and walked to the door, shaking his head to feel more awake. He felt like he barely got any sleep. He opened the door, and Shiro was standing on the other side in his full paladin armor.  

“Oh,” Shiro blinked when he noticed Keith still in his pajamas. “Did you just wake up?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Keith apologized. He didn’t realize he slept so late, it was unlike him. He was never late for training.

“It’s okay,” Shiro assured him. “You probably needed the sleep.”

Keith just blinked at him instead of responding. He was pretty good about his sleep schedule, he didn’t need the extra hours to sleep in.

“Are you ready?” Shiro asked.

“Um, yeah… let me just get my armor on,” Keith walked back into his room.

“Keith, wait.”

Keith turned around and waited for Shiro to continue.

Shiro took a breath and slumped his shoulders. “You don’t have to pretend to be strong.”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows. Shiro added quickly: “You’re always strong. But being strong isn’t being unaffected by tragedy. Today is about mourning, so give yourself a chance to mourn him.”

Keith stared at Shiro in shock. This didn’t make any sense unless… but it couldn’t be. Not again. It was just a dream.

“Lance?” he breathed, scared of what Shiro would say.

“His funeral, it’s today,” Shiro confirmed. “You didn’t forget, did you?”

Keith’s heartbeat quickened. Now he knew, something was very, very wrong.

“No...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have each chapter summary written out already, so I know exactly how this is going to go. It'll be short, but I'm trying to make the chapters longer.


	3. | | ・ | | |

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A funeral and a realization.

Keith and Shiro walked side by side to the star gazing room. Lance loved the stars, and he spent most of his free time in that room. He told Keith once that he sometimes tried to find Earth’s familiar constellations in the vast expanse of sky, but he never could, so he started making up his own. Every day he was there, he looked out to a new sky, and discovered new constellations that would never be known, and never seen by him again. 

As Keith entered the room and was engulfed by a floor to ceiling view of the cosmos, he tried to view it with the same youthful optimism that Lance had. But he couldn’t see it. All he saw was a deep void, an endless expanse of loneliness, and the looming threat of death. He felt very small standing in front of it. 

They were the last ones in the room. Allura, Coran, Pidge, and Hunk were already inside. The paladins were all wearing their armor, and Hunk had already started crying. They all looked solemn and heartbroken, and Keith was still struggling to wrap his mind around it. His heart ached, but at the same time, his head was spinning. He didn’t understand what was going on, but he knew something was definitely very wrong. 

He noticed that behind the small group, one of the cryo pods was detached from its station and laying horizontally across the floor. Keith’s stomach dropped. Without even looking inside the glass, he understood what it was. 

The group parted for him and Shiro as they approached, and Keith saw that inside the pod, lying frozen in time, was Lance’s body. He knelt down beside it, his hands gently touching the glass. Lance looked like he was just sleeping, like the pod would hiss open and he would sit up and get out.  

There were flowers inside with him. Keith wasn’t sure where they got them from, but they surrounded his body. He didn’t recognize any of them, all from alien planets, but they were beautiful, and he knew Lance would have loved them. 

Slowly, numbly, he stood up, and Shiro took his place. He was pulled back into the crowd and watched silently as Shiro bowed his head, gripping the glass tightly. He gripped his forehead with his other hand, pushed his bangs back, sighed heavily, and stood up. 

“Ready?” he asked the group.  

They all took turns going in front of the group and sharing stories of Lance, talking about how great he was, or how he used to make them laugh, or even things he did that annoyed them. Somehow, even those became things they missed, and everyone finished their speeches with tears in their eyes. Keith felt like crying too, but he didn’t. He was shocked. His emotions felt muted and his head felt thick with too many thoughts. As he listened to everyone talk, he kept thinking,  _ but you were doing that with him yesterday. You all saw him yesterday. Don’t you remember?  _

He felt like he was going crazy now. Was any of this real? It felt real. The pain in his chest when he glanced at Lance’s still body in the cryo pod-turned-coffin was real. But he didn’t understand what was happening. It felt like he was missing something. He felt like he was stuck between two realities. 

And that’s what this was, wasn’t it? Two realities? One where Lance survived the mission and one where he didn’t. He didn’t know how he got stuck between them, but he wanted to know how to get out. How long could this go on for? And how did he make sure he didn’t get stuck in this one? 

Finally, it was his turn to speak. He was the last to go, and he didn’t have anything planned. He shifted uncomfortably in front of the coffin, looking back at Lance’s face briefly, and then looking back at his friends who all bore tearful, expectant expressions. Where did he begin? 

“Uh, Lance… he was a really good guy.” Terrible start. Way too generic. And that wasn’t entirely the case, was it? “Actually, no… he was a really infuriating guy at the beginning. He got it in his head that we were rivals and he hated my guts for no reason. I couldn’t stand him.” 

The group laughed wetly, remembering all too well Lance’s antics at the beginning. 

“But then… as we all bonded as a team and got to know each other, I started to see him as more than the annoying guy who was always throwing jabs at me and trying to one up me. I saw his act for what it really was: insecurity. I saw that he was really caring and willing to fight for the universe, even if he just wanted to go home. I saw that he loved making people smile and cheering them up, and he was quick to make friends. I saw that he loved his family, that he loved Earth, and that he missed it so much. It seems so unfair that he had to… to die out here in space. All he wanted was to win the war so he could go home again.” 

Keith’s voice wavered. His face felt red. He wasn’t used to baring his emotions in front of everyone. He felt like he was laid bare, his pain and heartbreak on display for everyone to see. But he had to do it. For Lance. He knew he would regret it if he didn’t.

“A-and… over time, I’ve come to see him as my friend. One of the closest friends I’ll ever have. He… he meant a lot to me…” 

He couldn’t do this anymore. It was too much. He had shared too much, and he felt like he was drowning. Lance couldn’t be gone. He talked to him yesterday, he saw him smile and laugh and… 

He quickly sat down without saying anything else, and Pidge rubbed his arm in consolation. But it did nothing to soothe him. Shiro looked at him with genuine concern and sadness, and Keith shared a look with him for a long moment. Only Shiro knew just how _much_ Lance meant to him.   

After that, Lance was relocated to a spare room that would serve as his crypt. From what Keith put together from context clues, they had spent the previous day planning what to do with his body, and they finally decided he was to be kept there until they returned to Earth, where they would give him a proper burial. The cryo pod would preserve his body so that his family could see him one last time. He would be buried wherever they decided. It was what he would have wanted. 

Keith felt queasy about Lance’s body being kept in the castle. The temptation to visit the room and just sit with him, wish for him to wake up, was too strong. He spent the rest of the day moving around restlessly, trying to distract himself. He tried sparring with the training droid for a while, but eventually he called it quits. His head wasn’t in it. Usually training helped him focus, but his brain felt scattered in a hundred directions. Questions circled around his mind, but he didn’t know what he could do to answer them. There was simply no explanation for what was happening.  

He made his way to his room, not feeling like talking to anyone. He sat on his bed and stared at the wall, feeling numb again. A pain was buried somewhere deep in his chest, and he knew if he prodded at it, it would erupt and he wouldn’t be able to ignore it anymore. So he left it alone. He didn’t want to think about Lance and his situation anymore. So he closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind.

Absently, he began rubbing up and down the length of his thighs, trying to expel the last of his restless energy. When his hands reached up to his pockets, he felt the crinkle of paper. Curious, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled up note. He didn’t remember putting anything in there. He unfolded it and flattened it against his lap, reading: 

 

_ Keith,  _

_ I’m sorry I left without waking you up, but I feel like this is for the best. I was afraid you wouldn’t let me go if I did. I hope you can forgive me.  _

_ Lance _

 

Keith read it over and over again, brow furrowing in confusion. It didn’t make any sense. He’s never seen this note before, how did it end up in his pocket? And when did Lance write it? Keith felt an overwhelming sense of dread wash over him. Nothing made sense anymore. Everything that was happening felt like a surreal dream. First Lance left him a strange video message, then he was dead, and then he wasn’t, and then he was dead again, and now Keith had this strange note from him that he didn’t even remember putting in his pocket. 

He had to figure this out. He stared at the paper for a long time, willing it to give him answers, but none came. Angrily, he crumpled it up and threw it across the room. He dropped his head between his legs and grabbed fistfuls of hair behind his head. Angry tears sprung out of his eyes. 

He spent most of the rest of the day in bed, or frustratedly pacing his room. When it was night and he figured most everyone else must be asleep, he snuck out of his room and into the crypt. 

Lance was still lying there, surrounded by alien flowers. The only light in the room came from the glow of the cryo pod, illuminating him like a ghost. Carefully, slowly, Keith walked up to where he lay. He had felt stiff and awkward in the morning when he was being watched by everyone else, and his head had still been spinning too much from the sudden shift in reality to properly process his grief. Now though, he got to look at Lance without being hyper aware of the eyes of others on him. He placed his hand reverently on the glass. Immediately, he felt the pain in his chest burst into a thousand shards and spread across his whole body. Hot tears fell from his eyes. 

“Why did you have to die?” he whispered, his voice cracking. “Please, don’t do this to me. I can’t keep getting my hopes up only to wake up and find out you’re dead again.” 

Lance remained silent, offering no answers. 

“If you’re really alive, please wake up,” Keith begged. “ _ Please. _ I want you here. With me. If this is a joke, it isn’t funny. It isn’t…” 

Keith choked on his words and a sob ripped from his throat. He felt flayed open, his feelings on display, but Lance couldn’t even hear them. He collapsed in front of the coffin, his restless energy leaving him and instead making him feel hollowed out. It shouldn’t be like this, it shouldn’t… Lance was alive yesterday, he thought he was okay, he thought it was just a dream, and now… 

Keith fell asleep leaning against the cryo pod, dry tear tracks on his face. 

 

* * *

 

When he woke up, he was in his bed. His eyes snapped open and he sat up, observing his surroundings like he was seeing them for the first time. His heart hammered in his chest. Either someone found him in the crypt and brought him back to his room, or… 

Keith shot out of bed and ran down the hall, slipping and running into the wall, but not slowing down at all. He felt his mind thrumming with thoughts. Skidding into the kitchen, he halted as he saw Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro, but no one else.  _ No. _ Without saying a word to the confused paladins, he sprinted off again, going back down the hallway that he had come from, but stopping one short of his bedroom door. Breathing hard, he pounded on the door. He waited anxiously, his nerves on fire. When he got no response, he banged again. 

“Okay, okay, yeesh! What!?” Lance opened the door wearing his signature robe and face mask. “Can’t a guy get his eight vargas of beauty sleep? 

“Lance!” Keith responded breathlessly, relief flooding through his veins.

“Keith!” Lance mimed back. “Why do you look so panicked?” 

“I, uh… I…” Keith stuttered. What does he say to Lance? He hadn’t thought this far ahead. All that mattered was that Lance was alive. He was  _ alive _ . For now. He had to figure this out. 

“I need to talk to Shiro!” Keith blurted suddenly, and he was off again, leaving a very startled Lance in his wake. 

Keith stumbled back into the kitchen, the three paladins occupying it blinking as he once again provided no context for his behavior.  

“Shiro!” he shouted, the paladin in question straightening his back as he was addressed. “I need to talk to you!” 

“Uh, sure Keith, can I just…?”  

_ “Now!” _

“Okay, okay! I’ll… be right back, guys,” Shiro waved to the other two as he took his leave.

Hunk and Pidge shared a curious look as they exited the room. 

In the hallway, Keith dragged Shiro off into a corner.

“Keith, what’s this about? You seem really–” 

“Shiro, I don’t know what’s going on and I need to tell someone. Please believe me–I saw… I saw Lance _die_. We were all there, we all saw it. And then, the next day, I woke up… he was fine. And I was the only one who remembered it. I thought it must have been a dream, but no… the next day, he was dead again. We had a funeral for him. And now today, he’s alive again. I know this sounds crazy, but it’s true.”   

“Keith, what’s going on?” Shiro’s eyes were wide and filled with concern. “This isn’t like you. Is this what you were panicking about yesterday morning too? I think maybe you should rest…” 

_ “No!” _ Shiro’s hand reached for Keith’s shoulder and Keith pushed it away. “This is  _ not  _ in my head! It’s real, and I’m the only one that remembers it! I think something’s happening. I think I’m trapped between two realities. Somehow, every day I wake up between a timeline where Lance died in the recon mission and one where he survived it. I don’t know for sure, but I need all the information I can–” 

“What recon mission?” Shiro furrowed his eyebrows.

“The… the big recon mission with the Blade of Marmora?” Keith hesitated at Shiro’s confused look. “The one him and Hunk went on? Like three days ago? Or two? I’m not sure, I keep timeline hopping, I can’t keep track.” 

Shiro shook his head. “You mean the one they’re leaving for tomorrow?” 

Keith froze. 

“What?”

“That’s the only recon mission I know about that fits that description,” Shiro replied. “But it’s not until tomorrow. It hasn’t happened yet.” 

“It hasn’t…” 

Keith’s mind was spinning. Everything clicked into place.

“I need to go!” Keith shouted and started running. He heard Shiro call out for him to wait but he ignored him, racing to his room and opening the door. 

Inside, he caught his breath as his eyes darted around, looking for the piece of paper that he threw the other day. He couldn’t find it. It wasn’t there.  _ He knew it.  _

Shaking, he pulled out a piece of paper and a pen from his dresser. Quickly, he began making a timeline.

He drew a line, and then put a dot in the center of it. That was the day Lance left for the mission, and everything else spiraled out of control after that. It took about a day for Lance and Hunk to reach the base, and that was when Lance died. Keith put a notch after the dot. Then today was the day before Lance left, so he put a notch before it. Then there was the funeral, and Keith remembered them saying there was a day of planning before the funeral, so he added two more notches after the dot. There was one more day before Lance died that he had woken up. From what Shiro had said in their conversation, it sounded like that was yesterday. He put a notch right before today’s notch. That would mean… 

He was living this week out of order. Of that much he was sure. He wasn’t sure how it was happening and he didn’t know what would happen once he lived through all of the days. Would things return to normal? He hoped they would, but… which normal would they return to? 

Keith didn’t know what his next step should be. His pulse was thrumming in his ears. He had gotten so much closer to figuring out this mystery, but he still felt far from reaching a conclusion. He had to save Lance, somehow. If he was living the week out of order, he had a chance to prevent him from dying. But how? He couldn’t control what day he woke up on. The only constant seemed to be that each day switched back and forth between before and after The Big Event. That would mean tomorrow Lance would be dead again. If there was any order to what was happening, Keith predicted it would be the day in between Lance’s death and the funeral. He drew a circle around the notch. Then the day after that would either be before yesterday, or… 

Keith circled the dot in the center. His only hope was to stop Lance from leaving on that day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone that has commented, it really makes a world of a difference.


	4. | |

The world was a blur as Keith ran back down the hallway to Lance’s door, of out of breath and heart pounding. He banged on the door desperately, calling Lance’s name.

The door _whooshed_ open and Lance revealed himself on the other side, looking disgruntled.

“What is it, Keith?” he asked irritatedly. “This is the second time today–”

“The mission you’re leaving for on Wednesday!” Keith blurted out. “You can’t go!”

Lance blinked.

“... Excuse me?”

“You can’t go! Please, don’t go on the mission.”

Lance furrowed his eyebrows. Then suddenly, it seemed like something clicked in his head and his hands were on his hips, with a frown on his face.   
  
“And why not?”

Keith couldn’t tell him _why_ specifically. It’s not like he would believe him, and he didn’t want to freak Lance out. But he had to somehow convince him to not go. It was the only way.

“You… uh… it’s dangerous! Too dangerous. I don’t like it. I think we should call it off.”

“Uh huh,” Lance glared at him. “And would you be saying this if _you_ were assigned to the mission?”

“I’m serious, Lance! Something is fishy about this, it’s too easy. I think we need to let the Blade of Marmora gather more data before–”

“You know, I think you’re just jealous that I got this mission and you didn’t, so you’re trying to sabotage it.”

Keith was taken aback. “What?”

“Yeah, you heard me. I keep thinking we put this rivalry business aside, but you’ve been acting really strange towards me lately. Are you trying to prove something?”

“N-no!–”

“I appreciate your _concern_ ,” Lance’s tone was dripping in sarcasm. “But I don’t need anyone to _worry_ about me. I can handle myself.”

“Lance, I know you can! This isn’t about–”

“Is there anything else you came here to say? Or are we done here?”

Keith froze. He didn’t expect this to go so badly. He needed to backtrack, and fast, or else Lance would slam the door in his face.

“No, wait! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I know you’re capable of defending yourself. What I meant was, I just think we need to look into the risks of this mission before we send out valuable team members. We can’t afford to lose you, Lance.”

The sincerity in his voice gave Lance pause, and he could see the stubbornness in his face melt away to uncertainty.

“Oh, um…”

“Don’t undervalue yourself, Lance. You’re the only one who worries you don’t belong here. We all know what you’re capable of.”

If Keith’s eyes weren’t failing him, he thought he detected a light blush grace Lance’s cheeks. Keith felt his heart swell with emotions. He had to preserve that in his memories, just in case–

_In case–_

“What brought this on?” Lance broke Keith’s train of thought. “We’ve gone on risky missions before, and you’ve been acting strange for the past two days. Did something happen?”

Keith laughed dryly.

“It’s been a rough week.”

 

* * *

 

Keith wasn’t sure if Lance decided to heed his words or not, but considering he saw Allura and Hunk preparing for the mission later in the day, he figured he did not. Lance wouldn’t let Hunk go on a mission without him if he truly thought it was dangerous enough to step down from.

Keith felt helpless. He only had one more day to convince Lance not to go. Otherwise… he wasn’t sure what would happen after that. He couldn’t be entirely sure what day it would be tomorrow, but he was tired of waking up to a reality where Lance was gone. If he could make a difference… if he could stop Lance from going… even if he got stuck in the other reality, at least he would know he saved him in this one.

He tried talking to Allura, Hunk, Shiro, even Coran, but they all gave him relatively the same reaction as Lance. It was a simple covert mission, not very high risk, and it was in and out. There was no reason they should cancel it when the lead was so big. They couldn’t afford not to take it, not when the stakes were so high and the war was reaching it’s peak.

Keith was used to punching his way through his problems, not talking them out. No matter how much he tried, he could not form a strong enough argument as to why not without explaining the real reason. He already sounded enough like a crazy person. By the end of the day, everyone was annoyed with him and kept their distance.

He was frustrated and exhausted, but he decided to give it one last go when he found Lance in the observatory after dinner. He was looking up pensively at the vast expanse of holographic stars, and Keith recognized the constellations. He was looking at the Milky Way.

“You know, we could go back there someday,” Keith sat down next to Lance, his sudden presence making him jump. “But not if we take unnecessary risks and get ourselves killed.”

Lance snorted. “You’re one to talk.”

“I know,” Keith allowed himself to smile. “But… I don’t have a whole lot waiting for me back there. I risk my life, and I don’t have much to lose. You… you have a family. You have people that love you. You need to make it back.”

He could feel Lance’s sympathetic gaze on the side of his face, but he wouldn’t face him. 

“You… don’t have a family?”

Keith shrugged. “If I do, I don’t know where they are. Apparently I’m part galra, so that adds a whole lot more questions than I originally had. I remember my father… sort of… but I don’t know where he is now, or if he’s even still alive. Shiro was sort of all the family I had.”

Lance put his hand on Keith’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry. But even if you don’t have family back on Earth, you have family here. Voltron… we’re all a family. So you’re loved too.”

Keith squeezed his eyes shut. Lance’s hand was still firm on his shoulder, and it felt like a lifeline.

“Keith… I don’t know what’s going on with you lately, but I’m here for you,” Lance continued. “If something’s bothering you, you know you can always come to me right?”

Keith opened his eyes and turned to stare at Lance.

“I promise I won’t make fun of you,” Lance added.

Keith smiled. Moments like this with Lance were rare, but he cherished them. When he got to see Lance’s truly compassionate side, and not just the goofy exterior he put up to hide his soft center.

“And… can I ask you a question?” he continued when Keith didn’t say anything. “You’ve just seemed really… worried recently, and I just want to make sure nothing bad happened. Are you okay?”

Keith shifted. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Because you’re never one to hesitate from a mission and you seem really shaken up about the one tomorrow, and it’s not even a big deal. We’ve gone on a lot more dangerous missions before and you haven’t even batted an eye. What’s changed?”

Keith’s perspective had changed. He’d seen a world without Lance and he won’t let himself live in it, not if he can help it.

“Because… call it a premonition. I just have a bad feeling about it, and no one will listen to me. Please, you have to trust me… don’t go tomorrow.”

Lance looked at him sadly. “You know I can’t do that, Keith.”

Keith was about to speak, but then Lance continued. “It’s like Allura always says… the peace of the universe is more important than any one individual. And this’ll be easy. I promise, nothing bad will happen.”

“No…” Keith pulled away. “I’m not going to be able to convince you, am I?”

Lance scooted closer, closing the gap between them again. “Sorry bud, but that’s a no. You’re really paranoid right now, but I think you’ll feel a lot better once the mission is over.”

Keith whipped around to face Lance and grabbed him by the shoulders. Lance looked slightly shocked by how suddenly close Keith’s face was to his, but said nothing.

“Just… promise me that you’ll wake me up tomorrow, okay? If tomorrow is Wednesday, wake me up before you go.”

“What do you mean _if tomorrow is Wednesday?_ Of course tomorrow is Wednesday…”

“Just… promise me,” Keith grit out. “Wednesday morning… wake me up before you leave.”

“Okay…” Lance responded slightly dazed. “Okay, I promise…”

That’s all Keith felt like he could do. When Wednesday morning came, he'd figure it out. He’d make Lance stay somehow. Until then, he enjoyed what felt like his last night with Lance. They didn’t talk much more after that, just stared at the stars together. If Lance noticed that their shoulders were pressed together the whole time, he didn’t say anything.

When Keith went to bed that night, his heart felt heavy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from the dead! Season 3 revived me. Sorry for the long wait and the short chapter.


	5. | | ・ | |

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A broken promise and an apology.

Keith woke up groggily. His eyelashes were sticking together and he had to rub at them to get all the crust off. His eyes and mouth felt dry and he was still wearing his paladin bodysuit. He groaned and stretched, his joints popping and muscles aching. He felt a piece of paper crumple beneath his fingers when they reached under his pillow and suddenly he sat up, alert. He pulled the piece of paper out and held it up to his face. 

_ Keith,  _

_ I’m sorry I left without waking you up, but I feel like this is for the best. I was afraid you wouldn’t let me go if I did. I hope you can forgive me.  _

_ Lance _

He cursed. It was the paper he had found in his pocket at the funeral. Of course. Keith had begged Lance to wake him before he left, and of course he wasn’t going to. Or didn’t. Either way, Keith felt tears welling up in his eyes. There was no way to prepare his past self. There was nothing he could do. Lance was going to leave without waking him, the proof was on this paper. What was the point of all of this if he was only going to have to relive Lance’s death again? 

What was going to happen after that? Would time go back to normal, and he would have to live on knowing that he failed saving Lance, or would it reset, and he would be forced to relive this nightmarish week over and over again? He wasn’t sure which was worse. 

He got up on shaky legs. The tears wouldn’t fall, he didn’t have enough left after sobbing to Shiro last night… or what had felt like almost a week ago. But his heart felt like it was breaking. Lance was going to die,  _ had _ died, and he didn’t stop it. He didn’t even tell Lance how he felt, because he stupidly hoped that he was going to save him and they would have more time. He wasn’t ready, but now he’ll never know…

Keith crumpled the paper in his fist. His fist trembled, and then he angrily chucked the wad across the room with an enraged growl. The paper bounced flimsily off the wall and landed on the floor with hardly a sound. It wasn’t satisfying. He wanted to break something, to fight someone, to do something to get this anger out of his system. 

He turned around and kicked the closest thing to him, which happened to be the chestplate of his paladin armor. It had been left there when Shiro helped him out of it before putting him to bed the night Lance died, Keith remembered. With a sickening realization, he noticed that it still had Lance’s blood on it. 

Keith wasn’t the type to get queasy, but he felt his stomach clench. He ran to the bathroom adjacent to his room right in time to heave into the toilet. Lance was  _ gone _ . And there was no hope he would come back now. 

When he finished emptying the contents of his stomach into the bowl, he got up and wiped his mouth. He needed to change out of the bodysuit and into his casual clothes. He needed a glass of water. And then… 

And then… 

He wasn’t so sure. 

He got changed and walked to the kitchen to get some water. The castle was so quiet. He didn’t know where everyone was, but it was never this quiet. He could usually hear someone humming, people laughing, someone sparring in the training room, or the general ruckus of day to day activities. But today there was nothing. 

When he entered the kitchen, he was surprised to find Hunk baking. Well, he supposed normally it wouldn’t be surprising to find him there at all, but today it was. 

“Oh, hey,” Hunk greeted glumly when he saw Keith. “Didn’t see you there.” 

Keith just stared questionably at him as he pulled a sheet of cookies out of the oven. 

“Stress baking,” he explained simply.

Keith shrugged and left him to it, reaching to grab a water. Hunk shifted uncomfortably, fidgeting with his hands and looking around the room. 

“Um, Keith? Could we maybe, uh… talk for a sec?” he requested quietly. 

Keith put down his glass. “Um, yeah sure. What is it?” 

“Uh, actually… you wanna follow me?” 

Keith followed Hunk down the hallway, feeling tense. He didn’t know what this was about, but he could guess. Lance was his best friend, there was no doubt he was one of the ones taking his death the hardest. 

Hunk brought him into the observatory. He walked over to the control panel, and Keith sat down in the middle of the floor patiently. Hunk fiddled with the controls for a few seconds, and then suddenly a burst of light erupted from it and shards of light scattered across the room. 

A map of the stars unfolded before them. Keith stared at it in reverence. It was really humbling to see the great expanse of space laid out in front of him. It reminded him of just how small he was. 

Hunk typed in some coordinates and suddenly the stars were moving–faster and faster–until suddenly they slowed down and stopped at a different location. A familiar location. 

Keith recognized the constellations and star patterns. The Milky Way. Home. 

Hunk quietly settled down next to him. They both looked up at the holographic representation of the night sky from Earth and didn’t say a word to each other. Keith knew there was something Hunk wanted to tell him, but he waited until he was ready. 

Eventually, Hunk reached out and the hologram responded to his command, zooming in on a tiny speck that became bigger and bigger until Keith realized it was a planet. The Earth spun around on it’s axis in the center of the hologram. 

Hunk was silent for a few more moments. Keith was wondering if he should actually say something first when he finally sighed and spoke. 

“Lance really missed it.” 

Keith tore his eyes away from the Earth and looked at Hunk. He was staring at the ground now and his shoulders sunk. He looked weary. 

“I know,” Keith said, because he didn’t know what else to say. 

“This was his favorite place in the castle,” Hunk continued, and he looked back up at the Earth. “Here, in the observatory. He loved coming up here.” 

Tears welled up in Hunk’s eyes and Keith felt his heart clench. 

“The whole universe at his fingertips here, but these were the only coordinates he ever typed in.” 

Keith turned and stared at the holographic image of the Earth. It was so close he could reach out and touch it. But he knew his fingers would just go straight through it. He wondered how many times Lance had tried. 

“He wanted to go back so bad. Now he never will.” 

The words laid heavy on Keith’s chest. He couldn’t look at the Earth anymore, couldn’t look at Hunk. Instead, he stared at the floor. He had let Lance down. He let Hunk down. He let everyone down in the worst possible way. He felt like he held responsibility for this. He could have stopped it, if only he’d tried harder,  _ if only… _

“Anyways, that’s actually not why I brought you here,” Hunk wiped the tears from his eyes and composed himself. 

Keith found the strength to look up at him again. “Why did you bring me here then?” 

“I thought this would be a good place to tell you. Here, in Lance’s favorite place. Because… well, this has to do with Lance. And…” 

Hunk choked up a little and Keith panicked, awkwardly placing a hand on his shoulder in support. He couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t want to hear it, he didn’t want to know, he wanted to be far away from here and this situation and this whole stupid reality…

“Lance cared a lot about you. I know he had weird ways of showing it, but his teasing became good-natured over time. He was always just that kind of guy, you know? He was kind of bad at expressing himself. Always babbled on, but never about how he really felt.” 

Keith could relate, at least about not being able to express how he really felt. Boy, could he relate. 

“Anyways, he had a high regard for you. And… the last thing he said to me… was about you.” 

Keith felt his face burn. He pulled back, eyes wide and breath picking up. 

“What?” 

“He… he had lost a lot of blood at that point, and he was delirious, but he was adamant. He kept repeating to me over and over again… to tell you he was sorry. He really wanted you to know that he was sorry. I asked him what he was sorry about, but he just said you would know.” 

Keith’s heart hammered in his chest. He thought back to their conversation the night before, or at least what felt like yesterday to him. Lance promised him that he would wake him up before he left, and he knows that he won’t. He  _ promised _ him nothing bad was going to happen. He didn’t listen to Keith,  _ he didn’t listen _ , and he died because of it. Lance must have realized Keith was right. He was apologizing… to Keith… for  _ dying _ . For breaking his promise. 

He felt tears welling up in his eyes.

“...Keith?” Hunk asked hesitantly. 

His eyes darted up to meet Hunk’s. He must have looked like a wild animal. Eyes wide and full of tears, breathing rapidly, clutching his chest.

“Do you know… what Lance was sorry for?” 

Keith tried to speak, but instead, a sob came out.  _ Oh god, not again. _ He pressed his fists to his eyes, trying to prevent more tears from falling out, but it was too late. It was out of his control now. He hunched in on himself and cried. 

He felt big hands pulling him in, and suddenly he was wrapped in a big hug. Hunk rested his chin on Keith’s head and surrounded him with his arms, and Keith felt safe. 

He couldn't explain to Hunk why Lance said he was sorry, though. It was too painful. He was afraid if he told Hunk, he would be angry. That he would blame him. But Hunk deserved to understand his best friend’s last words. Hell, he deserved them to be about him. Not Keith. He wondered if Hunk was hurt that the last thing Lance wanted to say to him was about Keith. 

Hunk rubbed the back of Keith’s head as he attempted to control his breathing. He felt drops of water land on top of his head, and he knew Hunk was crying too. He felt so selfish. Hunk knew Lance for way longer than him, he didn’t deserve to be the one being comforted. He reached up and wrapped his arms around Hunk as well, hoping it would offer some comfort back to him. 

After a few minutes, his sobs started to decline. He felt exhausted. His breaths were shaky and uneven, but he felt like he could breathe. He became quiet, and Hunk’s arms loosened around him. He knew Hunk expected him to say something now, but he didn’t know what to say. He was gathering up the courage to respond to Hunk’s question when Allura’s voice came over the loudspeakers. 

“Paladins, please report to the main deck immediately.” 

Hunk let Keith go and he pulled away. They looked at each other for a moment. 

“You good?” Hunk asked, giving him a small smile.

Keith wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and gave a weak smile back. 

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, man. I’ve been crying basically all night. It’s… hard. I can’t believe he’s gone.”

“Me neither.” 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.” 

Keith reached over and rubbed Hunk’s shoulder, but it didn’t feel as awkward this time. If there was anything positive about this tragedy, it’s that it was bringing him closer to his teammates. 

“Me neither, honestly,” he responded. “I got to know him really well over these past couple of months. He… started to mean a lot to me.” 

That was the closest he was going to get to a confession for now. He already confessed to Shiro, he didn’t need everyone to know. At least not now. 

But Hunk looked at him and smiled like he understood anyways. 

“Do you wanna go see what Allura wants us for?” 

Keith was grateful that Hunk didn’t push further.

“Yeah, let’s go.” 

They walked down the hallway together to the main deck. Shiro, Allura, and Coran were already there, huddled together and looking solemn. Keith would be more worried but there was plenty of reason to be solemn lately. They waited for Pidge to arrive, who came in a few minutes later rubbing her red-rimmed eyes. None of them had an easy night. When Allura saw her enter, she stood up and walked into the center of the room. 

“As you all know, yesterday was… very difficult for all of us. We are all still mourning, but we believe a funeral should be arranged to commemorate Lance’s life. As of right now, he is in a cryopod, but we do not have any burial chambers in the castle.” 

Keith’s mind flashed back to the funeral he had already witnessed. He remembered Lance was in a cryopod, surrounded by flowers. 

“But he can’t stay there forever. Coran and I suggested a traditional Altean warrior funeral. His body would be flown out into space, for a final eternal journey. There are explosions and fireworks and an Altean grieving song. We could even bring the lions out to let out a thunderous roar as he departs from us.”

“Sounds very… theatrical,” Pidge pushed her glasses up and smiled wryly. “I think Lance would like that. He always did want to go out with a bang.” 

Everyone nodded in agreement. But Keith looked around, puzzled. This isn’t how he remembered the funeral happening. It was much more subdued and personal. Lance might have been a theatrical guy, but when it came to personal relationships and feelings, like Hunk said… he was a lot more private. And his family, the Earth… those were the things that  _ really _ mattered to him.  _ Not _ going out with a bang. That was all just talk. 

“No,” Keith stood up. Everyone looked at him. 

Allura blinked, “Excuse me?” 

“No, that’s not what he would have wanted,” Keith explained. “Lance was a loud guy, yeah, but what he really cared about was family. Don’t you think he would have wanted to be buried on Earth?” 

Allura looked sad, “Well of course, but we can’t go to Earth right now. It would jeopardize your planet, and–” 

“Well, we don’t have to take him there now. We could wait until the war is over, and then bring him back to his family.” 

“But that could be years, and–” 

“He’s in a crypod, right? Can’t those things detach from their ports?” Keith already knew they could, he had seen it. “We can keep him somewhere in the castle for now. This place is huge, I’m sure there are plenty of spare rooms. When the war is over, we can bring him back to his family and they can bury him where they want to. Where he would have wanted to be buried. That way, they can see him one last time, get closure.” 

“Well, I suppose…” Allura placed her finger on her chin. “We  _ do  _ have plenty of space in the castle…” 

“And we can have our own private funeral here, until we can bring him home to have an official one. We could have it in the observatory,” he looked over to Hunk and smiled. “I think he would like that.” 

Hunk smiled back.

Shiro came up and placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder. 

“That sounds like a great idea, Keith. Thank you.” 

Keith smiled sadly. Truthfully, it wasn’t his idea. He stole the idea from what he’d already seen, and just made sure that it would happen. It had been a nice funeral, he’s sure Lance would have appreciated it. 

They spent the rest of the day planning the arrangements. The funeral would be held tomorrow, so there would be no time to delay. It turned out that Keith didn’t have to make sure  _ everything _ went exactly according to how he’d seen it. Allura was the one who suggested they wormhole to a nearby planet with  _ lovely _ flora and fauna that they could place in the cryopod-turned-casket. She and Shiro went together to collect the flowers. Hunk suggested they all write their own eulogies about Lance instead of one person, since he meant something uniquely special to all of them. Pidge helped Coran with detaching the cryopod from it’s port and clearing out a spare room to become the crypt. Keith and Hunk then helped Shiro and Allura decorate the observatory for the next day’s event. 

They all went back to their rooms early for the night to prepare their speeches. Keith didn’t bother though, since he already knew that he was going to end up unprepared anyways. It had already happened, no need to plan. Instead, he sat on his bed with his arms crossed, left to his own thoughts. 

He wondered what day tomorrow would be. Would it be Wednesday? The day Lance died? He didn’t feel prepared. Today almost felt like closure, preparing the funeral felt like he was clearing out a space in his life for a new future devoid of Lance and his jabs, his smiles, his concern… 

But if he had to live it all over again tomorrow, he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. It would reopen in the wound in his heart, and he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to recover if he lived through it twice. 

He was scared, if he was being honest with himself. He never felt so helpless in his life. He had been a child of the foster system, a Garrison drop out, a boy alone in the desert without family or friends. But he had never felt so helpless and alone as he did now. There was nothing he could do but wait. 

He tried to stay awake as long as he could, as if putting off sleep could put off the inevitable. Once he fell asleep, he knew he would wake up to a day in the past. Whatever that day was, he would have to be prepared, one way or another. He would do everything he could. This might be his last chance to stop all of this from happening. He wasn’t sure if it was possible, but he had to try. 

He had to try for Lance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that has commented so far! I haven't felt the inspiration to continue this in a while but I got a couple nice comments the other day that spurred me to keep working on it!


	6. ・

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably proofread this first, but...

Keith woke up slowly. Then, remembering what had happened the day before, he shot up in bed. He swiveled around, looking to see if anything was different. What day was it? Was Lance alive or dead? 

He hurried out of his room. He had to find out if Lance was there. When his door shut behind him, something caught his eye and he turned around. Taped to the door was a note. He pulled it off and read it. 

_ Keith, _

_ I’m sorry I left without waking you up, but I feel like this is for the best. I was afraid you wouldn’t let me go if I did. I hope you can forgive me. _

_ Lance _

_ No. _ Lance already left, and Keith slept right through it. He was too late. Lance didn’t wake him up, he  _ promised _ he would and he didn’t. Lance was going to die, and… 

_ No! _ He couldn’t accept this. He wasn’t going to let this happen again. He rushed back into his room and threw on his paladin armor. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest and his blood rushing through his veins.  _ Don’t let me be too late, don’t let me be too late…  _

He sprinted out of his room, stumbling and running into walls in his haste. Allura and Shiro were down the hall, and they turned to him in confusion when they saw him rushing past in his armor, but he didn’t stop to explain. Time was precious and he couldn’t waste a single second. 

“Woah, hey!” Shiro shouted after him as he pushed past them. “Where are you going? Keith? Keith!” 

He ignored him.  _ Explain later, save Lance now. _ He headed straight for the Red Lion. She responded to his frantic thoughts and descended immediately to let him in.  _ Good girl.  _

He hopped into the pilot seat right as he saw Shiro and Allura enter his hangar. 

“Keith, what are you doing!?” Allura shouted up at him. 

“Come on, Red, let’s go,” Keith felt the lion dip as she prepared to take off. The hangar doors opened, and they shot forward, leaving Shiro and Allura behind. 

“Lock coordinates on the Blue Lion,” Keith commanded, “and go as fast as you can.” 

He shifted the gears forward and felt himself press back into his seat with the added force of their speed. He looked down at his dash and saw a map with blinking dots signifying himself and the Blue Lion. There was a lot of distance between them, Lance must have left a while ago. Keith had some catching up to do. 

A beeping noise sounded from his helmet, signifying a call. A picture on his screen indicated that Allura was calling from the castle. He pressed the side of his helmet to pick up the call. 

“Allura…” 

“Keith, where do you think you’re going in such a rush!? Get back to the castle immediately!” 

“I can’t do that, Allura,” Keith explained. “Not until I come back with Lance.”    


“Lance…? Lance is on a covert mission right now! You’ll blow his cover!” 

“Listen princess, I don’t have time to explain, but trust me: the mission has already been compromised. We need to get Lance and Hunk back here  _ now _ , or this isn’t going to end well.” 

“What? Where are you getting this information?”    


“It’s a long story, you’ll just have to trust me.” 

“Is this related to why you’ve been acting strange the past couple of days?” 

“Yes, sort of. But it’s more than just a bad feeling. I know that they’re going to get ambushed as soon as they arrive.” 

“Where do you get your intel?” 

“The… future? I’ve been living this week out of order! I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. I know how this ends!” 

Allura was silent for a few moments. 

“... I’m sending Shiro to come pick you up.” 

“What!? Allura, no! You have to believe me!” 

“You sound unwell, Keith. We can’t risk you sabotaging the mission.”    


“I’m not trying to sabotage it! I’m trying to  _ save _ them!” 

Allura’s voice sounded muffled as she turned away from the speaker to say in a hushed tone, “Shiro, get to your hangar.” 

Keith let out a growl of frustration. 

“Fine! Don’t believe me. Come after me if you want, but you’ll have to catch me first.” 

Keith positioned the red lion to bring her legs in and flatten out her body, and he pushed forward even more. He felt his speed increase, and he ended his connection with Allura. Now he had to focus on saving Lance  _ and _ avoiding Shiro. 

“Red, coordinates on the Black Lion too, please.” 

A new blinking dot appeared on his screen. There was a good amount of distance between them right now, but he had to be careful. He looked at the distance between himself and Lance. Even farther… hopelessly so. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to catch up. Lance and Hunk had left early in the morning. They had such an advance on him. Keith had the fastest lion, for sure, and they couldn’t be going at their top speed, but would it still be enough? Keith could only hope so. 

A new call pinged in on his headset, and he looked at his screen to see that this time, it came from Shiro. He furrowed his brows and answered the call.    


“If you’re going to try to talk me out of this, it’s not going to work.” 

“Keith,” he could hear the desperate tone in Shiro’s voice. “Please, stop this. You’re being irrational. You’re going to compromise the mission.”

“No, Shiro, you don’t understand.  _ Please _ listen to me. This week has been all out of order. I’ve seen  _ so much _ and I need to make sure none of it happens. I don’t have time to explain now, but I swear…” 

“Where is this coming from?” Shiro asked. “You’ve been acting strange all week, and now this? Why didn’t you come to me earlier?” 

Keith sighed, “I approached Lance, but he wouldn’t listen to me either. I was just… scared. I know I sound crazy, but I’m telling the truth. Something weird is going on and this might be my only chance to fix it.” 

Shiro sighed, “I’m not going to able to stop you, am I?” 

Keith smirked, “Not unless you can catch me.” 

“Well, considering you’re the fastest pilot and you already have a head start on me, I honestly don’t think that’s going to happen, you and I both know that.” 

Keith maintained his smirk but didn’t respond. He knew he didn’t need to. 

“But I’m not going to sit by and do nothing. I’m still following you. And if you’re wrong, I’m going to have to clean up your mess. But if you’re right… I’m here to help.” 

The sharpness of Keith’s smirk melted into a warm smile. “Thanks, Shiro.” 

“Don’t thank me. I just… really hope you’re right.” 

They disconnected. 

Keith wondered if he should call Lance and try to give him one last warning. He doubted he would listen if he wouldn’t listen yesterday, but he figured it was worth a shot. It would at least make him feel a little more useful than he currently did, with nothing to do except race as fast as he could with no guarantee he would arrive on time. 

Before he could hesitate, he reached forward to tap on his screen to call Lance. His heart pounded as he heard the standby beeps, until Lance finally picked up.

“Oh hey, I was just leaving you a message, what a–”

“Lance,” Keith breathed, feeling relieved and panicked at the same time. It felt so good to hear his voice. He just went one day without hearing it, and he already missed it. He missed everything about Lance on those dreadful few days he woke up and Lance was gone. 

“Listen, I’m sorry I left. Did you get my note? I–”

“Yes, I got your note, Lance. I can’t let you do this. Where are you?” 

“I’m almost there already, Keith. I’m sorry, there’s nothing you can do.” 

“No, I’m coming after you. You’re not going to do this alone.”    


“What!? Keith, please don’t. Me and Hunk are fine, we’ll stay under the radar, I promise.” 

Keith tried to speed up more, “No, you won’t be fine because it’s a trap! Don’t you understand? They’re expecting you! It’s not going to work!” 

“Keith, we’re almost there. It doesn’t matter. We’re going to do this, because we’re paladins and that’s what we do.” 

“Lance, please don’t do this,” Keith’s voice cracked, and he felt his eyes begin to water. He can’t go through this again, he can’t let Lance die. “You can’t…  _ I _ can’t…” 

He covered his mouth with his hand and tears began to stream down his face. He’s afraid,  _ so _ afraid to admit what he’s been holding in for so long, but he’s even more afraid of what will happen if he doesn’t. 

“...Keith?” Genuine concern laced Lance’s voice. 

“Please… I can’t… I can’t lose you,” Keith whispered just loud enough for Lance to hear over his comm. “I…  _ I love you _ .” 

He averted his eyes and for a long time he didn’t hear any response from Lance. The silence almost made him want to disconnect until Lance finally responded.    


“Wait, I… damn it, this is not how I pictured this conversation going. I left you a message… can we talk about this when I get back? I’m already here, I don’t have time…” 

“No! Lance, please don’t go in there!” Keith leaned on the thrusters again. “Please!” 

“Keith, I have to, it’s the mission,” Lance reasoned. “Please, don’t come after me. We’ll talk about all of this when I get back. I have a lot to say to you, but not like this.” 

“Lance!” 

“I have to go, Keith.” 

Lance disconnected the call. 

_ “No!” _ Keith slammed his fists on the dashboard. 

He confessed to Lance, and it still wasn’t enough. Lance was there, and Keith was still out in the middle of nowhere, and there wasn’t enough time. Lance was going to die again, and this time it would be all Keith’s fault. It was his fault, because he knew it was going to happen and he still couldn’t stop it. 

What was the purpose of this happening if it wasn’t to save Lance? Why did he get stuck like this? Was it going to happen all over again? Keith slammed his fists again and again. Angry and hopeless tears leaked from his eyes. 

He gripped the gears tighter and pushed forward. He still wasn’t going to give up. He was going to keep trying. Even if he didn’t make it, he wasn’t going to stop trying. If he couldn’t stop Lance from doing the mission, he could at least be there to help. He just hoped Lance and Hunk would stay out of danger long enough for Keith to get there.

Some time passed before a red light began flashing in the cockpit. A distress signal. Keith connected into the call between Allura and Hunk. 

“Hunk, what’s wrong?” he heard Allura ask. 

“We’ve been spotted!” Hunk cried. “We’re seriously outnumbered! We need backup, stat!” 

“I’m almost there, Hunk!” Keith chimed in. “How’s Lance?” 

“He’s fine, we’re both trying to hold them off but we can’t get to our lions! I don’t know how long we can keep this up for!” 

“I’m on my way too, Hunk!” Shiro added. “You’ll get backup soon, just keep calm and focus.” 

“We will wormhole to your location,” Allura added. “Now that you’ve been compromised, there’s no need to keep a low profile. We just have to collect Pidge.  _ Someone _ went on an unsolicited solo mission and now she’s the only paladin left that was available to help an evacuating planet.” 

Keith ignored her slight and sped forward. He could see the Galra ship in the distance now. There wasn’t much time between the first distress signal and Lance getting shot. He had to act fast. 

“I’m on your tail!” Shiro called to him. “We’ll go in together, watch each other’s backs! It looks like you may have been right after all, Keith…” 

“I don’t have time to wait for you!” Keith shouted back. He felt vaguely guilty about shirking Shiro off, especially after he was big enough to admit that Keith was right and offered to help him, but time was of the essence. Waiting for Shiro to join him would slow him down just that much more, and he couldn’t afford to waste precious seconds. 

Red clawed her way to a stop in an open hangar and Galra soldiers immediately started shooting. Keith wasted no time hopping out of his lion and activating his bayard, slicing through the droids with deadly accuracy. He fought through them as fast as he could, trying to calculate how he could get through using the least amount of strokes. He had no time to waste on complicated maneuvers, whichever way was quickest and cleanest was the way he wanted to go. He sliced through the army of attackers, fighting his way through the doorway into the hallway and sprinting down it.

“Hunk, I’m aboard the ship! Where are you?” 

“We’re in the west corridors right now!” Hunk shouted back. “There’s a bunch of droids in here, but we’re making our way through them! Come help us!” 

“Almost there!” Keith skidded and turned left.  _ Almost there, almost there…  _

Finally, he turned a corner to see Hunk and Lance fighting off the last of a huge crowd of droids. He almost felt relieved, until he saw a droid rounding a corner further down the hallway, and saw it raise a gun to Lance’s back. 

“Lance,  _ no! _ ” Keith screamed, jumping through the fray and grabbing Lance by the shoulders, pushing him up against the wall. Time seemed to move in slow motion and all he could register was Lance’s shocked face inches from his own before a searing pain erupted in his side. 

He gasped and fell to the floor, his body crumpling in agony. Hunk screamed and blasted the droid, downing the last of them and leaving the hallway empty. 

“Keith!” he heard Lance shout and with his limited vision he saw him reach toward him as he collapsed to the ground. He felt hands grab at his shoulders, his head, his back. The pain in his side was unbearable and he felt his eyes tearing up. He vaguely heard himself grunting in pain, and the frantic touches turned more delicate.

“Keith, oh my god, can you hear me?” Lance’s voice sounded muffled, but he squinted up at him. His worried features were so close to his face that he could see tears in his eyes. He didn’t want to make Lance cry. 

“Lance, I’m…” he hissed as Lance’s fingers skirted around the wound on his abdomen. It was bleeding profusely. “I’m sorry…” 

“Shh, no, don’t say that,” Lance’s voice sounded choked. He gathered Keith into his arms as gently as possible, but it still burned. Moving hurt. Breathing hurt. “It’s gonna be okay, we’re gonna get you to the castle and fix you up. So stay with me.” 

Keith looked up at him with a weak smile. 

“I’ll do my best. I… I wanted to have that conversation later.”

Lance let out a breathless laugh. “We  _ will _ have that conversation.” 

“I’m counting on it,” Keith’s smile turned into a grimace as a wave of pain overtook his body.

“Lance, we should get moving. Shiro’s going to meet us by the hangars and give us cover.” 

He saw Lance nod and then look back down at him. 

“This might hurt, I’m sorry,” he said before slinging Keith’s arm over his shoulder and scooping up his legs from behind his knees.

A searing pain lit up in his side and spread throughout the rest of his body as he was lifted off the ground. He let out a pitiful cry and Lance pressed him closer to his chest. Keith breathed heavily through his nose to work through the pain. It made him feel dizzy. 

Lance and Hunk ran through the corridors at a brisk pace. The jostling caused white spots to cloud Keith’s vision and he tried to muffle his groans of pain. When they were spotted by more droids, Lance hid behind Hunk to protect Keith. Hunk was left on his own to defend them until he cleared a path. 

Keith felt useless, but when he tried to get up to help fight, he gritted his teeth in pain and Lance eased him back into leaning against the wall. 

“Hey, take it easy,” Lance said gently. “Let me see your wound.” 

Keith hesitantly removed his hand from his side, wincing at the loss of pressure and the grotesque look of it. It was just a gaping hole in his side, lazily oozing blood. He pressed his head against the wall and squeezed his eyes shut. He heard Lance whisper, “oh my god.”

Keith looked over at Lance. Worry and horror were etched into his features. When he saw Keith was looking at him, he put on a facade of a comforting smile.

“It’s fine, it’ll be okay,” his voice was high pitched. “A little time in the healing pods and you’ll be good as new.” 

Keith was going to respond before he was interrupted by a coughing fit. It felt wet and viscous, and he cupped his hand to his mouth. When he pulled it away, it was red. He looked from his hand to Lance. He was staring at him with wide, panicked eyes.

“Alright guys, let’s go!” Hunk shouted from in front of them. The droids had been taken down but it was only a matter of time before more would arrive. They had to move fast. Lance shared one more silent look with Keith before grabbing him and lifting him up again.

As they ran, Keith felt himself begin to shake. His body was going into shock, he realized. He was losing too much blood. 

Lance gripped him tighter when he noticed the shaking. He continued his breathless mantra of  _ “it’s okay, it’s okay, you’ll be okay,” _ all the way towards the hangars. 

Eventually, they caught up to Shiro. He took one look at Keith and his face grew grim. Keith understood that look. Out of all of them, Shiro had seen the most death and he knew a hopeless case when he saw one. 

Taking a bullet for Lance wasn’t part of his plan. His plan was to rescue Lance. But if this was the only way it was going to happen, if the only way to save Lance’s life was to sacrifice his own, then he didn’t regret it. Lance deserved to live and be happy. He had a family that missed him, a home to go back to, things he wanted to do with his life. Keith never really had that. 

He was shaking violently by the time Shiro met up with them and he felt Lance clutching him even tighter. “It’s okay, we’re almost there now, just stay with me.” But Keith was beginning to doubt his ability to do that. His mouth tasted like copper, his body was spasming out of control, and the pain in his side was turning into a dull throb. He was losing feeling, and as relieving as it was, he knew it wasn’t a good sign. 

“Keith, we’re here.” 

Lance’s voice broke Keith out of the haze he was settling into. He slowly opened his eyes. He didn’t even realize he had closed them. 

Lance was smiling sadly down at him, still holding him in his arms. Keith tried to open his mouth to say something back, tell Lance he was fine, but his lips felt numb. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Lance soothed. “We’re all boarding Black now, you’re gonna be okay.”

It was becoming harder and harder for Keith to keep his eyes open. As they all shuffled into the Black Lion, Lance propped him up against the back wall of the cockpit, placing his legs over his lap. He leaned Keith’s head so that it was resting against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around him and held him close.

“Keith, please,” he heard Lance beg. His voice sounded shaky. “I should’ve listened to you. You shouldn’t have done that for me. Please, stay with me.”

He vaguely heard Shiro and Hunk yelling in the background about hurrying to the castle ship and preparing a cryopod, but he didn’t think it would make a difference. He was fading, he could feel it, and his mission was completed. He saved Lance.

Now the week that he lived through wouldn’t happen. Lance would live, and Keith would take his place. He accepted that now. As much as he wished that he got to have more time with Lance, he knew this was for the best. One life for another. 

“Keith,” Lance sobbed. Keith couldn’t open his eyes anymore. They felt too heavy. “Keith, you have to stay awake. We need to have that conversation later, remember? I didn’t get to tell you. I didn’t get to tell you…” 

Lance shook against him. He hiccuped through his tears and held him even tighter. Keith could feel it, but it was muted. Like he was experiencing it outside of his own body. 

“I didn’t say it back. I love you too… _ I love you too. _ ”

Keith’s world faded. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao wow season 4 beat me to it


	7. End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

The first thing he became aware of was the cold. There was a burst of cold air followed by a hissing sound, and then suddenly he was falling. His stomach dropped at the sensation, but he felt too weak to stop it, so he let himself fall forward and braced for impact.

He expected to land on the hard floor, but instead he was enveloped into warm arms that lowered him gently to the ground. He heard someone talking, but the noise was too warbled and he couldn’t focus. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut even tighter.

“-eith, can you hear me? Are you okay?”

Slowly, he opened his eyes. At first, everything was blurry and too bright, he had to close his eyes again. But when he tried again, Lance’s face slowly fell into focus.

“Keith!”

Keith stared up at Lance’s face and the first thing he registered was how _tired_ he looked. There were bags under his eyes, and they were red and puffy, like he’d been crying a lot. At first he was confused, but then memories of what happened came filtering back.

“I-I’m alive?” he croaked.

Lance laughed softly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, but you gave it your best shot. Don’t ever do that again.”

Keith groaned and tried to sit up, but a pain in his side made him wince and fall back into Lance’s lap.

“Hey, hey, take it easy. You nearly died, you can’t just go waltzing out of here,” Lance chastised.

“How… how long was I out?” Keith asked, holding a hand to his head. He felt overly groggy. He’s never been hit that badly before, he honestly didn’t expect to survive.

“... A week,” Lance responded quietly. “We were getting nervous that you would never wake up.”

Keith looked at Lance in surprise. No one had ever spent that long in the healing pod. Not even when Lance was caught in that explosion. But that wasn’t the only thing that caught his attention…

A whole week had passed, which meant that all the days that he lived through in the alternate reality _(that no longer existed, he realized)_ had passed while he was comatose in the healing pod. Did he actually break the cycle?

Keith didn’t think he was going to live. In order to change Lance’s fate, he figured he had to be the sacrifice. And he was willing to do that, but honestly… being in Lance’s arms and knowing he was safe again, and they were both alive, and they could finally be together… he was relieved.

Lance had said he loved him. It was in the heat of the moment, just before Keith had passed out, but he had heard it clearly. _He loved him too._ But had he only said it because Keith confessed to him, and Lance was desperate because Keith was dying? No, no… Lance wouldn’t do that, would he?

“I, uh… I’m sorry,” Lance broke his train of thought.

Keith looked back up from him. Lance’s expression was truly wrecked. His eyes were downcast and facing away from Keith, and Keith could see tears glistening in the corners.

“You were right... about everything. I should have listened to you. Instead, I was stubborn and almost got you killed.”

Keith’s eyebrows furrowed. “No, Lance. Don’t apologize. I know it sounded crazy. I had a bizarre week…”

“About that,” Lance finally looked at him. “I think we figured out what was happening to you.”

 

* * *

 

Everyone was really relieved to see Keith awake and responsive. His arm was around Lance’s shoulders for support and he felt weak and sore, but he was okay. His middle was especially sore, when he moved it burned and the skin felt like it was being stretched too tightly, but Lance had helped him wrap gauze around it before they left the med bay to reunite with everyone. His fingertips had lightly brushed his skin as he did so, and everything about it felt tense and heated. Both boys meticulously avoided eye contact, but Keith would glance up at Lance’s face every once and awhile to notice how red it was. He was sure his was the same.

He was greeted by the rest of the team with big hugs and tearful proclamations of how scared they were. Keith was shocked. He didn't expect everyone to be so affected. He was sure he was the better alternative than Lance. He didn't think that if he died, they would have all gone through the same level of grief.

He was brought food goo and wrapped in a blanket, everyone doting on him now that they had spent a week worrying about whether or not he would live. He felt a little overwhelmed by all the attention, but Lance kept a firm hand on his shoulder the entire time, and it grounded him.

“I’m sorry for the way I've been acting for the past week, everyone,” Keith finally spoke up. “I should've been truthful with you guys from the beginning. I was afraid none of you would believe me, so I tried to fix it myself.”

“What exactly did happen to you, Keith?” Hunk asked. “We have a theory, but we want to know your side.”

Keith sighed. “Honestly? I'm not really sure. The whole week had been so messed up. It all started when Lance and Hunk went on their covert mission…”

“You were acting strange long before then,” Shiro quirked an eyebrow.

“I know. But that's where it started for me. Hunk and Lance went on their mission, and me, Shiro, and Pidge were on a rescue mission on an evacuating planet.”

“Hey, wait a minute!” Pidge interjected. “You left me to do that mission on my own!”

“Let me finish!” Keith glared at her. “Anyways, we got an emergency call from Allura that Lance and Hunk had been compromised, so we boarded our lions to go help, but we had to fly to the castle, and we couldn't just abandon the people we were helping, and it took us too long to get there. Lance was… Lance was shot, and by the time we got back to the castle… he was already dead.”

His voice wobbled at the end. The team looked at him in shock, absorbing what he said. Lance swallowed.

“Is that… is that why you kept insisting that I don't go?”

Keith nodded slowly. “But then it gets weirder. The next day, I wake up… and Lance is there. He's fine, and so is the rest of the team like nothing ever happened. I thought I was going crazy. And then the next day, we were having Lance’s funeral, and then the next day… he was back again.”

“A simultaneity breakdown. You were living the week out of order,” Pidge adjusted her glasses, leaning forward in fascination.

“Exactly. I figured that out after a while. And I also realized that all of the days were leading up to the day that Lance left for the mission again. I figured if I could convince him to stay… then I could prevent what I saw from happening.”

Lance shuffled his feet in guilt. “I'm… really sorry. I should've listened to you.”

Keith turned to look at him. “No, it's okay. I probably wouldn't have believed me either. Like I said, I thought I was going crazy at first.”

“So when you couldn't stop Lance from leaving, you thought that the best alternative was to sacrifice yourself instead?” Shiro asked, worry lacing his features.

“That wasn't the original intention when I left, I promise,” Keith responded. “I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but I knew I had to do something. I wasn't just going to sit around and let it happen again.”

Lance, who had been previously standing behind him, pulled the chair out next to him and sat down. He took his hand off Keith’s shoulder to clutch his head.

“I can't believe that I _died_ … I mean I know it didn't actually happen now, thanks to you, but still... Keith… you saved my life.”

Keith gave him a weak smile. Lance smiled back, and they held their gaze for a moment. There was something intense stirring beneath the small gesture, but it was broken by Allura speaking up.

“We think we know what happened to you, Keith.”

“You do?” He asked, sitting up.

“Well, we have a theory anyways,” Pidge clarified.

“Keith, did you get attacked by Haggar preceding the events of your week?”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows. He wasn't expecting that question. But now that he thought about it…

“Yeah, actually. She blasted us with something right as we were going into the wormhole. We thought something was going to happen, but nothing did. I kind of forgot about that.”

“Thought so,” Allura smiled. “She showed up after you passed out, but we were able to escape before she could attack us. However in your reality, we were not as quick because we didn’t have you already there to give us a head start.”

Keith nodded. That made sense. They were slowed down in his reality because all three remaining paladins were already knee deep in a separate mission. With him and Shiro already at the location when the attack started, Pidge, Allura, and Coran could more hastily wormhole the castle ship to help them.

“I think what Haggar blasted us with in your reality was the same as what she hit us with when you were all separated in your lions.”

“I remember that,” Hunk piped up.

“Yes,” Allura continued. “While the rest of you were scattered across the galaxy, me and Coran were stuck in some sort of time loop. Coran kept getting younger and younger, while I remained completely unaffected.”

They all looked at Coran. Keith couldn't even picture him as someone young and without a mustache. That must have been a strange experience.

“I think that's what happened to you, Keith. We were stuck in a time loop of Haggar’s doing, but you were the only one experiencing its effects.”

“That’s…” Keith supposed it made sense, but it sounded so bizarre. “How was I the only one affected?”

“I’m not sure,” Allura admitted, “Time loops work in mysterious ways. I have no idea why I was not affected when we were stuck in the wormhole, while Coran and the mice were, and I can’t explain why you were the only one aware of the time loop when we all got stuck. But it could have something to do with your Galran biology.”

Keith shrugged. It might be the best explanation he would ever get.

“Nevertheless, saving Lance and getting us out of there before Haggar could blast us again broke the cycle,” Allura concluded. “You saved us all, and especially Lance. You should be very proud of yourself.”

The rest of the team agreed, breaking out into a chorus of _thank you_ ’s and another round of hugs. Keith felt bashful, like he didn't deserve it. He didn't feel like anything he did in the past week was particularly heroic. Just a desperate attempt at stopping something that he didn't want to happen.

“Thanks guys,” he said once everyone was quiet again. “But really, I just did what I had to do.”

“And you nearly killed yourself in the process,” Shiro added. “It was… a really close call, Keith. You scared all of us. This whole week, we weren't sure if you were going to wake up.”

Keith ducked his head. He didn't want to see anyone's expressions right now.

“I… I don't know what to say,” he admitted. “I'm sorry guys, I wasn't thinking. I just didn't want to lose Lance, I didn't think about how you would feel about losing me.”

Lance’s hand was back on his shoulder. The team looked at him with pitying expressions.

“Well, you're still recovering,” Shiro spoke up. “So you should really get some rest. Your wound might be healed, but you still need to regain your strength.”

Keith _did_ feel exhausted. The healing pods somehow always made him feel like he hadn't slept in weeks. A comatose slumber was never quite as effective.

“I'll take him to his room,” Lance volunteered quickly. Keith saw a quick ghost of a smirk on Shiro’s face before he schooled his expression.

“Yes, thank you, Lance. That's very nice of you to offer.”

Lance looped Keith’s arm back around his shoulders and walked him back to his room. Truthfully, Keith felt like he could walk fine on his own now, but he wasn’t going to tell that to Lance.

When they got to his room, Lance sat him down on his bed gently, and then stood up, rubbing his hands against his pants anxiously. He looked around the room and Keith could tell he wanted to say something. He opened his mouth and took a deep breath, then deflated. Then he opened his mouth again.

“Well, uh… I guess I should let you sleep,” he began, taking a step backwards. “You’re probably really tired, and–”

“Lance,” Keith interrupted, reaching his hand out. “Stay.”

Lance paused. His eyes widened and he gulped.

“Um…” Lance’s eyes darted to the other side of the room briefly, and then back to Keith. “Okay.”

He walked back to Keith’s bed and slowly sank down to sit right next to Keith. He clutched the edge of the bed, his hand close to where Keith’s rested.

They shared a silence for a few moments. Keith had things he wants to say, but he didn’t really know where to start. His mind was preoccupied with thoughts about their last conversation. What they said over the comms to each other, what he confessed to Lance, what Lance confessed to _him._

“So, um…” Lance began. “Are we going to have that conversation now?”

Keith nodded slowly. “I, um… I heard what you said. Before I lost consciousness.”

Lance shifted. “Oh. Yeah, well… I hadn’t really planned on that. I wanted to talk to you first, take things slow. I wasn’t planning on rushing with the “L” word, but you know… the death-scare kind of pushed it out of me.”

Keith turned to him. “But… did you mean it?”

Lance turned to look him in the eyes. “...Yes.”

Keith exhaled slowly.

“And you?” Lance asked. “You said it to me, too. Over the comms. Did you mean it?”

“Yes.”

They stared at each other. Lance broke eye contact and looked at the floor, his lips quirking into a small smile.

“I–I guess I should thank you,” he said. “For saving my life. I know I said it already, but I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

“Don’t apologize,” Keith assured him. “What’s important is that you’re here now. The days you weren’t there… I couldn’t…”

Lance’s hand was back on his shoulder. He felt hyperaware of his touch, it was like a heat that spread to the rest of his body. _He loves me._

“Hey, it’s okay,” he smiled. “I’m here.”

Keith smiled back.

“The week that you were in the healing pod,” Lance explained. “It was… hard for me too. They said you might not make it and I… I just spent a lot of time in the med bay just waiting. I couldn’t sleep, I could barely eat. For you to go through that… but I was actually _dead_ … that’s crazy. I can’t believe… I can’t believe I _died_.”

Keith looked at him in sympathy.

“But I mean… as horrible as this whole situation has been,” Lance continued. “I guess… I guess it’s kind of good that this happened. It pushed feelings out into the open that I was scared to address. When I say _‘I planned to talk to you,’_ I kind of just mean that I ran the scenario in my head a million times but never got the courage to actually do it.”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows, “Why not?”

“Well, I mean… we’re in space! There’s only seven of us in one castle ship together! If I risked it and told you… things would get pretty awkward.”

Keith laughed. “I didn’t realize you were shy.”

“I’m not shy, I think that’s a pretty reasonable fear to have! Besides, I recall you not telling me until you thought I was gonna die, either. So I guess we’re both the loser here.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Keith shook his head. “I kind of think we’re winners in this scenario.”

“Oh yeah?” Lance turned to face him again. “And why is that?”

Keith smiled and leaned close to his face until they were inches apart.

“Because you’re okay.”

He flicked his eyes down to Lance’s lips and then back up.

“And I’m okay.”

Lance sat completely still, staring intensely back at Keith.

“And we’re together.”

Keith leaned in and Lance met him halfway. His eyelids slid shut and their lips pressed together. Lance brought his hands up to Keith’s face and Keith wrapped his arms around Lance’s waist. Keith smiled against the kiss. For the first time in a long time, he felt okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Keith! You get a happy ending!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read this all the way through! This was a real struggle to write, but I'm relieved I finished it.


End file.
